Just wanted to tell you that I have been reviewing a number of my posts and found it interesting that that advice and comments that I have been given (particularly from you) are somehow much clearer. I feel I have come a long way in the past couple of weeks. Thank you for helping me to refocus on what is really important and what the real deal is. I found myself today responding to other posts, and giving advice to others and was somewhat overwhelmed by what I have learned. I have always loved my wife and meant it as unconditional love but was still caught up in self pitty/loathing/regret/guilt///// etc...
but I now feel released, like I have been able to set myself free. I still have some hurt emotions but it is more a sadness rather than depression, and a desire to really change how I look at things. I truely feel for my WS, which is counter intuitive considering the A but I really want to help her. I want her to be happy regardless of what happens. I am at Peace and feel great about it.

Thank you...I would not have made this much progress with out you all being there for support.

seeking you sound much much better...

these boards are a lot of letting go of fears...and believing in core selves...
inspite of multiple outside forces...

we each are very powerful and unique individuals ...and should be treated by ourselves as such..

thanks for the kind words..

ARK^^

Thank you...I am feeling much better and focused on what is important. I have finally allowed myself to let go of some of my fears in turn gained strength. I truely believe that if I focus on my unconditional love for WW by being the best most caring individual I can be that she will come back to me, but if she doesn't then I can stand tall, and proud, knowing that I love her and myself. She will be the one losing if she chooses to follow through with the Div and A...and I will go on in life a happy whole person. In turn if she comes back, I have done some tremendous things to help build love in our marriage again. That doesn't mean I am not sad at times but I am better able to cope with it with out being completely desperate, and useless.

Thanks so much seeking...

and I second what Ark said!