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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 896
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 896 |
We are doing good I guess. It could be alot worse.
All week I have been trying to just talk. I have really had some things a wanted to talk about. Just talk to each other. I even said early in the week "I have something I want to talk to you about. He said so do I." We talke about what he wanted first and got in to an arguement. We never got around to what I wanted.
I just want to share. He changes the subject, says he cannot hear me and I have to repeat myself about 3 or 4 times and by then I feel like what is the point, he will walk out of the room.
We just got off the phone. I was telling him I have tried all week to just talk. I said I wish I had someone to just talk, someone who would not walk out of the room, or change the subject. Just someone to share with.
His response was "I thought that is what you do with a girlfriend". I was so shocked I just said OK. When we hung up I burst into tears.
If you cannot talk with your spouse about things on your mind who do you talk to? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
Me (BS) - 38
Him (WS) - 40
DDay - 7/6/04
Seperated - 5/26/04 - 8/9/4
In Recovery
The Lord told me to Press On!
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
How long in Recovery?
Might be time to just HAVE FUN and BE TOGETHER for awhile.
My FWH and I go through those stages....
Last edited by mimi1254; 09/02/05 01:36 PM.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 396
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 396 |
Lifted,
One of the things Undo and I will do is to e-mail each other. Granted, we are fine and living together, but this helps her because she gets a little flustered at times and feels that her point came across wrong. By writing the e-mail there will be no misunderstanding what was said and it also gives you the chance to recheck what is being said so as to not have any LB's.
Hopeful4future
The character of a person is defined by their actions...not their intentions. Otherwise, the world would be full of Saints.
BS: 40 (Me) xFWW: 50 Married: 9/97 PA: 3 months D-Day: 6/30/2005 (she revealed to me) Divorced: 10/2/2008 Happy that I've moved on
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 81
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 81 |
I agree with both Hopeful and mimi. Try the email as starting point, giving him time to think about what your saying and you can discuss later. And, if things are feeling really 'heavy' try to do something fun and silly together to lighten things up for a while.
Trixie
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 896
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 896 |
He does not have email at work. We do have a date planed tonight. It has been a while. I am excited about that. Going to hang out on the beach and do dinner after work!
Me (BS) - 38
Him (WS) - 40
DDay - 7/6/04
Seperated - 5/26/04 - 8/9/4
In Recovery
The Lord told me to Press On!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 975
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 975 |
You may need to do some explaining about the difference between "Girl talk" and "Man talk". Something like, "I like talking to my girl friends, but, you know, they aren't a man and they don't know me like you do. You have a different perspective on life and the world that I need. It helps keep me grounded."
FWS
Married: 1976 AS: 1991
D-Day: 1992 AE: 1993
Still married.
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