7 days since d day. hubby back at work this am. we talked last nite an i explained how important honesty is to me at this point (even if it hurts) he has called 3 times letting me know she is at work an so far nc. he is seriously thinking about looking for another job.trying to deal my own emotions here this morning. been reading love busters an trying to do an say right things. still cant believe we r foing thru something like this. are there people here that have made it through this? are the marriages strong now? well thanks for letting me ramble an vent this morning.

Ramble on, blue eyed brat, rambling is about the only thing that keeps me sane anymore. I am so grateful I have a place to go, that people care and are interested in how I feel.

Sincerely,
K.D's Heartbreak

thanks for continues support. today is very hard . just trying to stay busy an focussed. some minutes easier thatn others. just wanting this to work.

There are success stories out there. In paticular, is BobPure and his w/s.
Look for BobPure and Squid's posts, he is my inspiration and gives me hope, when my life looks the darkest.

15 months ago my Squid was stealing our kids college money to set up home with the old wastrel she was screwing n a cheap motel. She didn't love me, never did, married the wrong man etc etc.

Now she lovs me very much, says I'm her hero, we have a better SF life than almost ever, are more intimate, less argumentative and quietly,optimistically happy about how things are turning out.

We still have recovery issues but we handle them together in love without sulking.

That light enough for the end of your tunnel ? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Hi BEB. I'm in same boat...hoping for light at the end of the tunnel. Nice to hear from bObpure that we have success stories. bOb--does squid address a lot of WS's? My WS (toolman) in posting under my thread, and maybe my WH would benefit from her recovery story. Your story is an inspiration to all of us BS's! Imanotherone

IAO, Squid doesn;t post here.

Thinks everyone will think she is a slut. Poor deluded girl, this has become her FANCLUB !! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

All, note that most recovered folsk go on to live wonderful lives and their contribution here diminishes. There are SO MANY who recover but who no longer post even since my time here. Look for threads on Recovery from Atruheart. Her story is a REAL success.

Thanks for response Bob. did u ever have days when u felt that u needed the support an not ws? Returning to work tomorrow, hoping that will help as i work in very busy day program for the mentally challenged an will will have to concentrate on things around me .Planning trip to library to get reading materials. Any suggestions? H has called several times to let me know there has been nc today ,but there has been so many lies last few months that i still worry. Trying to say cheeerful things. thanks agin for response

BEB Its a hard time. Sensitive too, progress can be easily set back.

Its most important that your H contunes with his apparent transparency in activities. That is teh best way I know of to settle the BS mind and sow the seeds of trust once more.

Regarding reading materials I read voraciously anything I could learn about recovery from: Harleys books, Dobson's books, Glass book, many others. Fiction seemed unimportant.

I took up crosswords and Sudoku. Helped distract my mind and keep it sharp.

Try Spike Milligan's WW2 memoirs,they always SLAY me with pahos and humour however strange my own life is at the time.

All blessings

BP Dont discount the novel or Films for that matter. Lantana was a great movie about betrayal


There are novels about affairs. Many novelists romanticise affairs and some regard them as part of life The end of the affair by Grahame Green is very dry and objective IMHO.Sons and Lovers by DH Lawrence paints a devastating picture of the way in which an irresponsible h ruins the lives of his family. My alltime favourite is Anna Karenina here Tolstoy weaves a story that really tells how an affair that ends in divorce and remarriage is doomed.

Films and books help to add to your own perspective the pattern of an a can be seen and it helps you to make decicisions about what to do.

Hi M !

I wasn't discounting novels from a helpfulness perspective, just that fiction did not hold me in thrall while my own life was a drama of intrigue, betrayal, tragic early death and suicide attempts ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

A sign of recovery I guess that I am starting to read again !

BP

I understand what you are saying

TRUTH IS OFTEN STRANGER THAN FICTION( to coin a phrase)

Maybe you should write a novel and have it made into a movie. I think we all have enough material for that .Just as long as they didnt get Meryl Streep to play me or Tom Cruise to be my cheating h.

Hey blue, my beautiful college educated wife was "in love" with a violent felon who served 5 years in the state pen. He was romantic and I wasn't, he had "insights" that I didn't. We were too different, she said. She met him in a hotel to consummate their "love." And I knew about everything every step of the way.

This was just over five months ago, now we're into full recovery, she is over being embarrassed about it (just barely) and is pushing forward. Our marriage is better than ever and she is more attentive to my needs (and our childrens') than I could have ever imagined.

There's a bit of hope for you.

Here's something that helps: work out like a fiend. It gets you nice and tired and sore. Plus, you will improve your appearance and health. That has been a positive side effect of my wife's A as I continue to work out and I feel great.