First, I want to say to everyone going through this how sorry I am for each of you. This is my 2nd marriage and the same result. Unfaithful husband. My husband and I have separated on and off because of his infidelity. We never got to the point of resolving anything. He would always just move out, which meant moving out of state to where we used to live. Where the affairs occurred. At that time there was never anyone imparticular, just anyone. My fault in this was that I didn't want to have a physical relationship with him once these affairs started. Which made matters worse. He was then constantly denying the affairs. Which he recently admitted to.
A few months ago, he moved to another state to live with his brother and his wife. His brother suspected them having an affair, which was again denied. Afew weeks ago his brother kicked him out. My husband then went to our former state and confessed the affair to his son. He told him he has been miserable for 15 yrears, and that she(brother's wife) made him happy. I happened to be in that state taking my son to college. That trip alone was going to be bittersweet. It's 1600 miles from where we live now. His son contacted and told me what his dad and her had done. I saw my husband and confronted him, knowing the truth this time for sure. He immediatly started crying and told me he hadn't been miserable for 15 yrs, that was to make him not feel like such a dirtbag. He told me it was the biggest mistake he'd ever made and that he loved me and I didn't derserve all of this. He said how ashammed he was for what he had done. He then confessed to the others I already knew about. I can't help wondering if it hadn't been his brother's wife, would he have ever felt any remorse. It was such a shock that either of them would do such a thing. I feel if he would do such a thing to his brother, who he has always been very close to. In fact when we all lived in the same state we were all close. What would prevent him from doing this again? I told him I forgive him and I have to for myself, otherwise I know how it would eat at me. I even offered him to come back home. He says he will. I know there are stipulations that have to be met. I just don't know how we can get through this, so many other people are affected by this. My brother-in-law and his wife are going to counselling.She still denys the affair. They have been through this before, both have had affairs before. I am the only one of us who has remained faithful. I just can't understand what makes a person do this. During our separation times I never dreamed of being unfaithful. I have children that I have to set an example for and I want to be able to wake each day knowing I've done my best for their sake.
He is still out of state and I have not heard from him other than a mutual friend who said he plans to come back to us. I just want the hurt to go away and until he gets here and we can really work to rebuild this I feel lost.
This website has helped me to get an idea of what I need to do to achieve that. I know as far as the pain goes, that takes time. As far as how the rest of the family handles it, I guess time will tell with that too.
My heart goes out to all of you and I will keep you in my prayers, no one should have to feel this way, loving someone shouldn't hurt so much.
Thank for any replies and just for allowing me to vent.

I am very sorry for you. It seems to me at the very least you should contact your husband's brother and tell him what you found out. He deserves to know the truth.

My husband's brother knows the truth, his nephew also told him everything. He felt we both needed to know what his father and aunt were doing. He was very upset with his dad. My brother-in-law and I talk frequently, which I believe helps both of us cope. I know the hurt and pain I feel and I can not even begin to imagine what he is feeling. He was betrayed not only by his wife but his own brother. We try to keep a sense of humor about it all, by taking bets on which family member is going call the "Jerry Spinger Show". I spoke to him tonight and apparently his wife is still going to counselling with him, although he knows that they have had contact recently and he tells me not to put much faith into my husband returning home to us.
I guess I have to decide how long I'm willing to wait for him to come back. Right now I feel like the sooner we start working on this, the easier it might be. I have to know that this is a priority for him. If not I have no choice but to file divorce.

I am very sorry for your pain. It just seems to me that your husband has such a broken moral compass that it is beyond belief. Not only does he disrespect you by having an sexual affair and putting your health at risk, but to do this with his own brother's wife after his brother took him into his home is incredulous. The fact that he would do this to you and his brother really shows he has a total broken moral compass. From what you describe it sounds like you would be much better moving on and finding someone who can respect you and the concept of family. Your husband is not this person. Your husband's lack of values and loyalty would make it very difficult for you to ever trust this man ever. I wish you luck.

Wow! Your husband and sister-in-law sound like quite the pair. I concur with BryanP, get out and find a decent man. If this is the second cheater you've encountered, refine your "search criteria" (for lack of a better word). There are lots of good guys out there.

Good luck, it's terrible for you to have to put up with this garbage.

I couldn't agree with you more. I know to do such a thing to your brother lacks in so much more than moral and family values. It is just so low. I can't even begin to describe how I feel about it.
You are right I know I need to move on. I told him I forgave him but I don't. I had spoke to quickly. I hadn't had time to absorb it all. I was wrong to do that.
I've been to several websites, trying to see what the process is and if I'd even be willing to do what it takes to rebuild this marriage. I didn't even want to try duing my first marriage, so I thought I should do the right thing this time and and really try to make it work. I just can't do it. I am usually a very forgiving person.
I need to just start the healing process for me, so I can move on..alone. At least I'll feel like I have a plan.
Thank-you for your help