I wholeheartedly recommend online introduction services. I've had very good luck meeting very nice women with it. And, of the women I've met/talked to, they've said they've had fairly good luck as well.

I know as a single parent it has made meeting women easier for me, but I don't think I can put it better than AGG does in this post.

Go back again to the same club, and it may be a whole different scene. Also try out the on-line thing. I met some wonderful guys through an on-line service, before I married WH. I went out a lot and there was nothing wrong with the ones I met. In fact, several would have been good marriage material.

You will find a lot of men whose relationship has just ended though.

Thanks so much for the support. I am feeling so lonely lately. I thought that I met a great guy and it's been over a week since I heard from him.

I go to court really soon for a custody hearing. I am so scared of losing time with my precious DD. I am trying to keep busy. It was just nice to have something else to occupy my thoughts. For the last two years, I have lived a life of h3ll. Then I meet a great guy, a few dates and then nothing. I meet another. Have a nice date, calls the next day and nothing. I just wanted something to look forward to. Something positive. Perhaps I wouldn't be in such a hurry if life didn't seem so depressing. It makes me miss not having someone to share life's good and bad times with.

I'm off to take a look at online dating sights.

Your feelings are perfectly normal. But I promise there is someone out there for you.

When I was looking for someone, I had 2 young children. That complicates things. I dated some men that I liked very much, but didn't feel would be good for my children. I dated one and introduced him to my kids. They loved him, but then I decided he wasn't right for me.

It just takes some time and patience. Just remember, your perfect mate is probably looking for you too.

Luckystar,

My personal belief is that if you truly are as lonely and down as your posts suggest, you should not be looking for a man to make things better for you.

I am a firm believer that a person can only find a healthy relationship (key word here being "healthy") when s/he is themselves healthy.

That means not lonely, not depressed, not "life is so difficult/bad/pointless" outlook, etc.

I understand that those feelings are very common for someone going or just gone through a divorce. Heck, all of us here have been there done that.

But most of us who have been there done that will also tell you that looking for a relationship when you feel that way will most likely land you someone who is wrong for you, because you are so needy.

I suppose a date here and there might be OK, depending on your purpose. But as I read your posts, I get the distinct impression that you want to find someone to make you feel better, and as much as it is probably unpleasant for you to hear, I would strongly encourage you to focus a bit more on healing yourself and learning to be happy on your own, before looking for someone to share your life with.

Just IMO,

AGG

This is a false dichotomy. There are any number of reasons why a man may "reject" you which have nothing to do with their feelings toward you or their assessment of you. As you yourself pointed out, "I know that it can't be me because they don't really know me." So why not assume that it's them?

For some men, dating is not a particularly high priority. Speaking for myself, there are a lot of people - both men and women - whom I would be interested in getting to know more. But, I keep myself pretty busy with my activities and my friends, and absent special circumstances, getting to know a stranger isn't something I'm willing to disrupt my life for. If I had good reason to suspect that this stranger was going to turn out to be "the one," then of course my priorities would change; but otherwise the odds simply don't merit my supplanting the alternatives which I know will be fulfilling for me.

I am also hesitant to "ask out" a woman before I know whether she is already "attached." I don't want her getting the idea that I am hitting on her.

Then there are women whom I do know and like a lot. Some of them I find very attractive and respect highly. However, in my assessment we would not be a good match. It's nothing against them, and I believe they will make someone else a good match. But not me.

I suppose I ought to be honest and argue the other side as well. I too wonder sometimes what I'm doing "wrong" in the world of cross-gender relationships. Thus far in my life, I am not aware of any woman who has ever shown a hint of any romantic interest in me, with the sole exception of my ex-wife - and even she took a long time to come around. I know that many women think highly of me, and on paper I ought to be considered quite a good "catch," but I'm guessing that somehow I have managed to desexualize myself. I project a "friend" persona in a culture which seems to believe that friends are inappropriate subjects for romantic consideration, preferring instead to glorify the mystery and fantasy which can be overlaid on a stranger.

If I'm right about that, then even in this case where my behavior may be the proximate cause of my lack of "success" in the romantic sphere, it is not due to a rejection of the "real me," but rather a misalignment between pervading cultural values (often blindly followed) and my own personal values. While I may not be entirely happy about that, I recognize that how I act is my choice, and the consequences should not be interpreted as a judgement on my personal worth.

GoodGuy,
I thought a lot about what you are saying about not being ready to date. I think I really am. I don't need a man to make me complete, but I have to say I miss the emotional fulfillment that a man gives. I am lonely, but in a way that I realize what I have missed in life and I want to start over. I just want someone to share my days ups and downs with. Right now with the custody issue it seems to be a lot of downs. The hearing is in two weeks and I probably shouldn't date anyone before then because of the emotional mess I am. But other than custody I feel better now than I have. I don't know - Maybe I am needy. I just feel like I have to start exploring things to really find out. I have looked at me and my mistakes. I found time for me. If I continue to live life this way, I'm afraid that I am going to wake up and life will have passed me by. I am so tired of being the bystander and allowing a man to dictate my life.

Gnome,
Oh the rejection issue. It is enough to make you want to put your head in the sand. With the first man that I liked I think I expected too much. My expections were reasonable, but maybe I expected them to soon. I do think it is better that I saw his character early so I didn't fall really hard, but it still hurt.
The second guy I liked, well I'm still shaking my head over. He seemed so into me. Called me the next night after our first date, gave me his number at the end of the converstation and then nothing. I'm not feeling overly rejected, because he didn't know me enough to reject me, but i am confused.

Now I am just really hesitant on will they even call me. Not a great feeling. I know I have so much to learn about this dating stuff. I just didn't realize that meeting people would be so hard.

LS -

Just look at it like looking for a job. You are going to have a lot of disappointments, but that doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. Don't give up, just keep on getting out there and meeting people.