We had our dart league last night. We had just started our matches when WS called his best friend. BF was in the middle of his game and his wife picked up the phone. WS made threats to come up there and not to say he was coming up. I started shaking like a leaf...panic attack (damn I had been doing so well too the past week). I was in no shape to play my matches. I went over to the other team...almost in tears and told them the situation and asked if I substituted a player for me since I was already on role call if they would force us to forfeit. I told them I didn't want to cause any problems for the games but needed to leave if he showed up. They said no...but they also told me not to be driving anywhere in the shape I was in. The bartender went up and put a sign on the door telling WS he could not come in and everyone promised to protect me. The waitress BOUGHT me a drink to calm me down. I am not a drinker but it did help calm my nerves. My best friend drove me home also along with my 4 car escort. We got home and they made sure I got in okay.

I am so embarrassed to have put everyone through this...but they were all so wonderful. They really do care and they really are there for me. His BF is going to have a talk with WS today and tell him that they are done..he's told him before but now after last night he's really angry with him. He moved out, he told me to move on...I am doing that...why the harrassment? Just leave me be...I really thought I was doing well here ignoring him and staying in the dark. Why won't he leave me alone? Why does he have to try and hurt everyone too?

He has now taken to calling my cell continously today and not leaving messages and has also found the number for our friends shop behind my boutique and has been calling there. Fortunately they have Caller ID and have not been picking up the phone when he rings.

I'm really starting to feel like I am going crazy here...I don't know why he is calling me and starting to harrass our friends. I am still ignoring his calls since I can't seem to block on my cell phone. Why is he doing this to me? This is the life he wanted, he chose to move out...he said he wanted peace of mind...then why is he doing this. I'm really trying to cope here.

Tonight stopped by to throw a few quick games of darts with some friends who were visiting from out of town. I pulled up and saw WS car. I phoned my friend inside...and got the all clear. So I proceeded inside. Once inside, they told me that WS and OW were no longer permitted in the bar. Too much drama and the walking of the tabs continously as well as the harrassment of WS against one of the waitresses when confronted about the tab walking.

About half an hour after we were there, OW went up to the passenger side of WS car and got in...she sat there for about 10 minutes before I decided to be a bad girl and pretend to go out to my car to get something. As I was leaning in my car I glanced over and saw WS walking towards the car...I quickly grabbed my cell phone and went back in. Our friend said he was staring at me the whole time he was walking and getting in the car.

So of course we were all speculating...did they walk the tab? Why was she in the car so long before him...and I mean it had to have been at least 10 to 15 minutes before he came out and they took off. She's the only one with money so her leaving before him, he would not have been able to pay the tab with her credit card...or could it have been (cross fingers, trouble in paradise) perhaps a lovers quarrel? Oh well yes, I am a bad girl...speculating and wasting my time thinking about this...guilty as charged...*praying for lover's quarrel here* They left quite early for them 7pm.

I guess we'll see if he tries to make contact again tomorrow. He only calls when she's at work. But I promise I won't pick up...just out of curiousity...when in Plan B do we allow contact by them. Do they call and say I'm ready to make a committment here? Where do you go from there. Not that it is going to happen, but what is the process usually?

When you are in Plan B, you don't have contact with them UNTIL they have written a no contact letter to the OW, and agreed on the terms to recover the marriage.

Don't accept anything else. My WH used to always promise there would be no contact, and like a dummy I would discuss our relationship with him.

He is still living with OW after 3 years.

So...somehow communication will be iniated on THEIR part then to say hey I'm outta the fog and I want to work on our R. Until then nothing then...I guess if the time comes he'd leave a voice mail indicating that he wanted to work on R. If he thinks that he isn't welcome home and is letting his pride take over, will WS still attempt that communication. I know they said there is a fine line in Plan B, sometimes they leave OP but don't come back to the R. I know with WS he is so full of damn pride that it isn't even funny.

Sadie the way I understand it, WH can say or should say to you that I have left OW and want to be with you. Only question you should ask is " Did you write a N/C or are you willing to write N/C letter?" If answer is yes and they let you see it and mail it then you can work on R.

Thats how I understand it to be anyway.

boy sadie
you sure do like drama don't you..

imagine a whole 24 hours without knowing ONE thing about him...

imagine that for 48 hours....

and then a week..

imagine the peace...

cause this cat and mouse game is fodder for a whole bunch of people.....

including the WS...and the OP..
THANK GOD you play right in to their hands to give them ample opportunities to talk about you which keeps them from having to deal with their piss poor behavior...

you need to learn to tell people who attempt to speak your husbands name....
sorry I am not interested in ONE thing about HIM

you need to learn to be able to be in an establishment and if he shows up...
not phone tag

to leave on your own
without involving anyone else in the drama...

period...

this is not plan b
this is game drama playing at its best...

imagine spending that energy on positive things...

sounds different
and
probably even a little scary..

ARK

get a new cell number.