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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 37
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OP
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 37 |
THIS WEEKEND WAS A WEEKEND FROM ******. I FOUND MYSELF AT THE OW HOUSE . SHE SAW ME THERE BUT I STILL HAVE NEVER SEEN HER. SHE CALLED MY H AND MY MOTHER IN LAW AND INFORMED THEM THAT I WAS THERE. I ASKED HIM TO HAVE NC WITH OW AND HE AGREED BUT HOW CAN I BELIEVE THAT HE HAS WHEN I SEARCH HIS CELL SHE HAS CALLED AND THEY HAVE TALKED AND HE HAS NOT INFORMED ME. I AM VERY ANGRY AND DO NOT WANT TO BECOME BITTER. SHE HAS TWO OC THAT MAY BE HIS BUT NO ONE IS TRYING TO GET A DNA. IS IT TIME FOR PLAN B AND HOW DO I EXECUTE IT?
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906 |
what does it mean you were at her house....??
why were you there..
where exactly were you....
ark
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 37
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OP
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 37 |
I WAS IN FRONT OF HER HOUSE BECAUSE SHE THREATENED TO COME TO MY HOUSE AND KICK THE DOOR IN AND SINCE I DO NOT KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE BUT SHE KNOWS ALL ABOUT ME I WAS THERE TO END ALL OF THIS PHONE TAG AND DISCUSS IT ONCE AND FOR ALL BUT SHE BECAME AFRAID AND NEVER CAME OUT BUT SHE MAKES BIG THREATS OVER THE PHONE.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906 |
T2...
The time is at hand for you to DECIDE if you want to decrease and remove yourself from being any sort of participator in this chaos.....
there is chaos that you control and chaos that you can NOT control
going to the OW house is chaos you can control and you must vow from this second out in your life. ..that you will never ever ever contact this OP again....
what the TRUTH about the OC's are they his children...
if that is questionable then you and your husband must seek legal counsel and establish paternity...then he must meet his obligation to ALL the children involved....
anything else is chaos unfairly forced unto children....
are you two living together...
what does he say about this..
how old are the children did you just find about TWO OC??!!!!!!!!!
you need to get DNA testing..well HE does
ARK
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 37
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OP
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 37 |
yes we still live together and he has not paid for the dna testing yet. he says for me to be the woman he needs and just let everyone say what they want because this is about me and him (which is a total crock) the oc are one year old and two months old and our children are six and two.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906 |
that's not an anwer from him..
what does he say when you say you MUST establish paternity
before you will agree to do anything BUT seperate yourself from this situation...
which is what I believe you MUST do..to protect you and your children from the chaos that he is bringing home...
his inaction and indecision is as much as an answer as a real answer....
can you and the children leave and you go live with family
ARK
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 37
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OP
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 37 |
he just says that he does not want to spend the money on that right now. ( i believe that he knows they are his and thats why he is stalling) me and my kids can not live with family because of the things that are going to be said. my name only is on the lease so it will be easier if he leaves because i am the one with the kids and why should we be uprooted for something that he did right?
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906 |
right...
except you physically moving is a strong strong statement of I AM DONE WITH THIS CHAOS...
even if it temporarily causes stress for the children...the big picture is that no marriage with this guy who soooo disrespects ALL children and ALL women in his wife....
is better with a false make believe marriage in which you and the children are continually faced with chaos and trauma....
how much does it cost...does he even know that??
ark
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 37
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OP
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 37 |
i understand exactly what you are saying but my family is not supportive they are judgemental (they never liked him) and i need to be able to think and i think i need to do it at home without him. if he leaves then he can see what its like to be with her 24/7 without a support system and the best of both worlds
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344 |
>support system and the best of both worlds
That's what it took for Wookie.
Your OW is bent - just like ours. It's time his blinders came off regarding that fact.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 37
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OP
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 37 |
how can i get him to take the blinders off? i am trying plan a i am trying communication with no secrets but nothing is working.
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