I have been married for 9 months, and just recently within the last month found out that my husband has been having an affair.....
The girl (and I say girl...she is 26 he is 43) was pregnant with his child, but had a miscarriage about 2 weeks ago.
She claims she loves him, but from what she tells me...everything she knows about him is a lie. She is now willing to let him go, because she no longer feels the need to be with him, due to the fact that she is no longer pregnant.

He lies to me, and tells me that he was never seeing her. However when I talk to her, I feel that she too is hurt by his actions, because she didn't know he was married until after she found out she was pregnant.

Now, after all is said and done, I need to decide whether to try and work to make our marriage work......or just to let it go the way he did. I have already removed my wedding rings, because I feel that they symbolize love...that obviously isn't there.

I love my husband very much, but am not sure how much more of this I can put up with???

Anyone have any thoughts or suggestions. I know...I should kick his as* to the curb, but as many of you know, its just not that easy....

Married 9 months and he already knocked up a younger woman while lying to both of you the entire time?

Maybe time to say "oops" and kick him out. He's obviously a slimy piece of s***.

Sorry, but you guys are still newlyweds and he's out boinking young girls...unprotected, I might add. And you guys haven't even had the time together to develop any issues! I vote for run as fast as you can, this man isn't worth your attention and he's treating two women like doormats/sperm receptacles simultaneously. LOSER!

Deep in my heart I do agree with you and your thoughts. I have had all of them myself.

But when I said for better or worse, til death do us part....I meant it. How can I just disregard the oath I made? I wanted our marriage to be forever. Although I know he didn't. I'm just so hurt and confused right now

You made the pact together, he trashed it. You are no longer bound as he has committed adultery. Your promise was a joint promise, not an individual one. You never promised to be a doormat.

Of course you're confused and hurt, you have every right to be. Just remember- you didn't quit the marriage, he did.

My FWW and I have been married 7 years. If she has screwed the OM nine months into our marriage, I would have kicked her out on the street. We have 2 kids to think about, and other developed issues to work on, and a rich and mostly happy history, so we're working it out. But if she betrays me again she's gone, and she knows it.

Do you really have anything worth saving at this point? Are you ready to go through this again? Are you staying with him because you think you're not good enough? These are all questions you need to answer. Kick the bum out first, though.

Just want to say AMEN to that. He broke his vows. I trust and hope that there are no kids. Close whatever accounts you have together, pay a lawyer and get out as quickly as you can.

You don't deserve this.

I have to ask you, what on earth can you build without trust? You say he's lied to both of you.

My 1st H cheated but was really honest about it and the forgiveness came easy. The 2nd H cheated during my pregnancy and LIED about it. We were never the same again. The lies thereafter just built a wall around my heart.

And then I met H number 4...who has never had an SA BUT he did spend 2 1/2 years living with his ex-wife and kids behind my back. Our whole life together is all a lie. Said the house was up for sale, needed repairs, the kids were there but not the"mom". yeah riiiight.

Don't end up like me. Don't fall for more lies. A marriage is more than a wedding ring. It's the union of two who make it a partnership. I believe your partner is in recess. He's being a selfish child after his own wants.

It's NOT okay to lie when you want something! We are all supposed to act like mature grown-ups when we get married.

I say save yourself. You can spend YEARS in this and end up keeping a 20+ year "marriage" with no trust. Your H did this when things wre new and good between you. How much character will he have if / when 15 years later you are ill, or your parents need care? Can you trust him then?