Had rough day here. full of doubts an fears. H went back to work yesterday. Works with ow. He says there has been nc. but im still worrying .How in the world do i get beyond that? Trying hard to say right things but feeling lots of anger an resentment that we are at this point in our lives.H told me last week he had feelings for ow. That nearly killed me. But im still trying but feel im saying wrong things an messing up . PLese advice before i blow this .

Deep breath and calm down....

Are you reading the principles found at this site. Educate yourself on everything you can.

Are you in counseling? IC or MC?

How about no contact? He needs to quit his job and maintain NC with her. He can get a job somewhere else.

Don't blame yourself even if you mess up and say the wrong things to him. HE IS THE ONE THAT IS MESSING UP!!!

Keith

Taking deep breath! Yes Keith im reading everything i cn get my hands on. I just hate all the lies! It scares me to not know when im being lied to. I have always been a strong person an feel so helpless an out of control now. Hate these feelings. As to counseling no we are not . H will not go at this time. I am a mental health worker( ironic huh) an can get some counseling from work an am considering it seriously for myself. but for tonite just going to try to get some rest an start again tomorrow. Thanks again for response sheila

If your WH truly wants to work on and save the M, he should be doing everything in HIS power to make you feel comfortable.

This is true for every person who has ever cheated, and REALLY wants to get their M back......whether they know about MB or not.

I have some friends who know nothing about MB, but their story of their reconcilitation holds true to the MB principles, and follows as though it was scripted by some of the people here.

Their WS practically broke their necks trying to show their dedication and committment to their BS and M.

Don't settle for less. If you settle, then less is exactly what you will get.

Work on yourself......for me, it was finally growing a backbone and standing up for myself. I have gone thru 5 or 6 D-Days, with promises broken, and renewed contact. And because I would not take a stand for myself, my M is probably lost.

Because I TAUGHT my WH how to treat me.....that it was okay for him to lie, and cheat, and manipulate me.

No more. There is only a very small inkling of love left in me for WH. And although I know the A wasn't my fault, I DO KNOW it is my fault for allowing WH to continue to walk over me, and treat me like I really don't matter.

So, where do you stand?

K