Been racking my head all day to try and figure out what my wife could be using for an email password. Just figured it out and checked her email. Well... here we go again... somebody named Ken left the sweetest meassage about where she could meet him for dinner and that his car was out front so she would see it. Oh yeah.. it ended with please be careful. After events in the past I don't need to know more. Someone new all over again.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Wish I had some words of wisdom. What is your next step?

Apache,

I am so, so sorry. We all know how you feel.

Don't go there and confront them. Your anger could get the best of you and you don't want to get in trouble by punching this jerk out.

Think about you are going to handle this.

You are not alone buddy - we are all here for you.

Keith

I am so sorry. A person might wander into a first affair but knows what they are doing with the second. Can you forward her email to her and add that you are very hurt and then see what she does?
Cherished

Don't worry - I couldn't confront them if I wanted to. I'm in the Mohave Desert and she is in North Carolina. And, this ain't the first time. After listening to all her voice mails - she had this thing set up a week ago. Days before she asked me for separation, and the day before I flew her out to "pin me" at my promotion ceremony. I can handle this, but there is no more Plan A and no more Plan B for me.

I really like this idea but don't do it if you got into her account illegally.

I am so sorry for you right now. I wish I could help.

What I meant in the earlier post was that she changed her voice mail password, not email. Cell phones, voice mail and text messages are the most common ways that WS communicate with OP. I learned many things from her first A that I wish I didn't know. The danger of cell phones to a relationship is one of them.

apache03,
I'm so sorry you've had to join us again. After her first A with other OM, do you feel you ever really resolved things, or do you think you both slipped back into whatever it was that caused the first A?

I know that there are usually a multitude of things that happen over time for the A to actually happen, but did feel that it wouldn't happen again?

I ask because it seems like so many of us are right back here. Whether it is the same OP or a different OP. I've had 3 d-days, and as you said in an earlier post, how many times does one have to sit back and take this?
This is what I said in my old sig line --"fool me once, fool me twice, but not a third time!!" Guess, what he did and there has been a third time. Some of us just sit back and keep taking it.
I don't know about you but with each time, I just lose a little more of everything. My respect is now gone. The love that you try to build back up as you are trying to trust them again, just gets killed all over again. I know that I can't keep on anymore.
Plan A and B are really good to incorporate but both parties have to be willing at some point, and my WH has no clue what he has done to me. If he did, and I really thought he did, there would not have been a D-day number 3.
The best of luck to you. I know, this really sucks.

suzy-
I thought it might happen again because my W would not go to counseling and simply thought she could just make everything alright. This was confusing to me because she has seen counselors for things in the past that were not of the same magnitude and impact.

Again, while this is our issue, she is making catastrophic choices for us. It is clear that I cannot drag her along into a better marriage. She must be a willing participant.

Things had been much better - we were going out on dates to movies, dinner, shopping, cooking meals together,a nd sometimes just laying on the sofa talking. Then she would have to leave for a few weeks and then be home - then the same for me. The summer has been tough because I have been training for 3 out of every 4 weeks. That's about to be over in another 3 weeks. Then I won't have to do that again for another 5-6 months. She knows all of this. I guess 3 weeks at a time for 3-4 months is just too much for her to handle. She gets almost all my "free" time. Surely ther are women out there who can accept these difficult, yet temporary times in a marriage?? The divorce rate in the military is no greater than in the civilian world. The military just completed a study because it was concerned. Probably not so much concerned about my marriage but recruiting and retention.