W/H has slipped back into attitude of not wanting me to do anything for him. He has become cold again and hardened,which worries me that he has slipped and had contact with o/w again. We woke up a few minutes ago, and it was 2:00 am, he was far over on his side of the bed, and I attempted to touch his hand in which he took it away and rolled over, with his back towards me. I quietly said, "It seems like the space between us is getting bigger." I asked him what the matter was and he said nothing. I then told him whatever it was, I felt I didn't deserve this. He then said in his disgusted voice, "Cut it out."
Now here I am again, sleepless and wondering if he has been having contact with o/w. I am waiting until the time is right to ask him if he has had any contact with o/w since day he commited to not seeing or hearing from her. I want to watch his eyes, they are a dead give away.

Heartbreak--A's are like an addiction, something the WS feel like they must have. When my FWH was going through what can best be described as withdrawal from OW, he too ran hot and cold. He is dealing with his own demons right now. That's not an excuse for his behavior, just an explaination. Be patient (I know it's hard and I blew it many times during this period in my life), things will even out eventually. When you rock the boat this much, it takes awhile for the waves to completely subside, metaphorically speaking.Your FWH sounds alot like mine. They don't want to talk about what happened, because they don't like to admit they made a mistake.

Heartbreak, I get this all the time from my WW, however I no longer try to approach her in bed. Try staying on your side of the bed for a while and not bringing up the R talk. This is why they call it a rollercoaster ride. It can change from one minute to the next. Dougswife is right. It will even out over time and that may your best oppourtunity to make LB deposits. BS wonder about contact with OP all the time, you just can't become obsessed with it.

Update:
He unburdened himself to me this morning. When I woke up this morning, I told my husband that holding in his anger and resentment was harmful to our marriage, and I wanted to talk about what was bothering him when he got home tonight. Instead of waiting until tonight, my husband proceeded to say how upset he was about putting his mother in the new alhzeimer and Dementia facility, and he felt resentful that I was putting our marriage ahead of the well being of his mother. He said that he was concerned that she would be unhappy there, and that she would be around people that were much worse off than her. He said he felt like it was an upscale nursing home. He also is upset because his mother is sad that she is leaving where she is at. I am going to finish the end of this at a previous posting I had done. "Am I right?"
Thank you Dougs Wife for responding, It's really a coincidence our ages, how many years we have both been married, and I too, have two children that are ds 22 years of age, and dd 24 years of age. Also 2 grandchildren 18 months, and 4 years of age.

Bump

KDS,

His actions might also be related to symptoms of grieving for the loss of his A and the events related to it. Anger is one of those symptoms and his feelings are going to be very bumpy for a while. My wife is currently in anger/depression. Not all people react the same way to WD since some can get over the OP rather quickly, but grieving is what our MC and her IC said is very common for people who end A and that will take time.

All you can do is try to be there for him when he needs you.

Bump this post

kds.

I'm bumping this up, I just want you to see how much his actions are betraying you. He is causing you to 'feel' insane in some senses. A woman's intuition is an extremely powerful tool, as you are in touch emotionally to your environment. I think you know what is going on. Time to take of any blinders and really take control of your situation.

I think you have taken some wonderful steps at this already.

TELL HER HUSBAND...that is why she is puking... she knows her hubby is about to find out. Let's see what a cheerful wonderful woman she becomes when it's HER marriage on the line.

Hang in there.