My MC wanted me to write down my anger on paper. She made it clear that I was not to use a computer... pen and paper. She said it helps bring out your emotions more then the conventional keyboard because of both sides of the brain working at once.

Before I knew it I had written 8 pages and felt like I haven't even started. I feel so drained right now that I can barely write this.

My MC said that I have been holding in my anger far too much and that it could backfire on our progress by me exploding. Man... she knew exactly what she was doing when she gave me that assignment.

Anyone else have something like this?

Dear Hopeful,
What a great idea for therapy. I think I will suggest it for my husband since he basicly lost his sounding board when nc was initiated. He has no one to talk to but me, and I know that there are things he just can't say to me, like there are things I just can't say to him. He is very private, and although he talks to friends, he doesn't get into his personal life, especially the life that involves the EMOTIONAL AFFAIR with o/w. Wouldn't want to tarnish his good reputation you know. (sarcasam)

kd -my H is same as yours. It is a great idea. I could also write a book. Maybe he could as well. Are we supposed to share thisanger with our Sp?? Maybe that is one final way to really clear the air.

That is a great idea!!! I hope it's helping...it sounds like it is. There are all kinds of NATs (Negative Automatic Thoughts) that fly around your head all the time, it's amazing what you can find out by just writing down what you're thinking.

They had me do this when I was in therapy, and I wrote down all kinds of things that, at the time, if I'd have thought about it, wouldn't have made sense, but when I looked at the list I had an *Oh Sh*t* moment. (I had a couple of those).

I think writing is always good therapy, and I can see how pen and paper would be better than typing.

I use this board as my sounding board, everyone in my real life thinks I'm insane, for example.....my Mother said today "I don't know anyone else who would have put up with this crap", (My Mom has quite the literary flair, eh? LMAO) But she's right, who the heck would really put up with all this, it's insane, and yet, here I am......that says a little something about me, doesn't it?!

-Caren

Boy I must be insane too Carren, really insane. If someone would have told me my husband was going to betray me and have an emotional affair 20 years ago, I would have said I would have had the divorce papers drawn, signed and delivered to him before dinner time.
How times change, and what we do for love, especially when it is one sided.

Hopeful ~ there is something powerful about physically writing down your anger.

Part of the benefit is that it gets all that nasty stuff out of your head, on to paper, where it lies there, looking pretty pathetic and not nearly as powerful as it felt in your head.

Very good way to empty your head of all that crap =)

My Al-Anon sponsor taught me to do it, and it worked wonders.

To all,

The "book" that I'm writing will be given to my MC for review. She will then tell me what I should re-write or re-phrase and have me write it over. I think her intention is to see how much my writings change to see if my anger is increasing, decreasing or the same. She will not let me give Undo a LB letter... just one that shows my anger and hurt.

The plan is for me to give it to Undo at MC. Not sure where we will go from there. MC feels that Undo has to hear my anger so that she can see what she did to me, us and our marriage. It is intended to hurt, but she says that some pain will be required in order for Undo to think twice about ever doing this again and to realize the love I have for her.