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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 3 |
What is your opinion of this situation? My husband cheated and has a oc on the way. I think the ow is more of a crutch for him, helps pay bills, etc. However, he calls me, claims he doesn't want a divorce. As angry as I am about this baby being born, I wouldn't mind still being married to him if HE DID RIGHT. When I read some posts, I notice h or w wanting to work things out, include the currnet husband/wife in on wha;t going on ( lawyer visits to set up cs, etc). With my husband he never tells me anything. I always have to ask, and he hasn't even told the ow that he wants to be commited to the marriage ( which is something I feel he needs to do.) When spouse wants to get it right with their current spouse it seems as if they let them know everything, many many details. I am very much in the dark. Suggestions?
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316
Member
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Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316 |
Read everything you can on the MB site. Pay particular attention to Plan B. Sounds like that's where you need to be at this time.
BS/47
FWH/42
Married 22 yrs
Kids - S30,SD23,SS22
OC Born - 09/08/04
C with OC - SS
It's an UPHILL CLIMB
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 948
Member
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Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 948 |
I agree with inanutshell... it took us a year to get here, but we are in joint agreement about 6 months of no contact with the OW. The ONLY contact (initiated by ME, not HIM) with OW was me calling her in the hospital to find out if she did have a baby. He quit his job to have NC. I notice you registered well over a year ago, hitwriter. Has the A been going on all that time? Are you separated?
I assume you've read about the no contact letters where the WS not only tells the OW that it's over, but does it in writing, states they wish to work on the marriage, and the A was a grave mistake and IS OVER.
Until you WH is ready to take that step, plan B is your best bet, especially if you've been in Plan A all this time.
BW 43 me
FWH 39
M 1992; DD 18. 13
OC 8-05 - no contact
In recovery 8 years
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