It's been a pretty good 3 weeks of Plan B. Last night, for the first time, WH tried to contact me. First, it was an email saying that he'd sent a tax document to our printer because it wouldn't print out at work. He says that DS needs it for some financial aid information. Right. We'll see about this when DS comes home this afternoon.

Next, he tried to call me on my cell twice. According to caller ID, he tried at home, too. I didn't answer any of the calls nor did he leave a message. I don't know, maybe he tried to come into the house to print the document out. Oops, golly, his key doesn't work anymore.

I forwarded the email to my intermediary. Perhaps, unfortunately, the message opened while I was forwarding and I read it. My intermediary sent him a email that she forwarded the email but that I, the BS have requested no contact. She asked if she needed to draw him a flow chart to figure this out.

Very interesting. On the bright side, I caught myself singing in the car on the way to work yesterday. I guess it must suit me.

Very good! You know, GG, you little rascal, the reason Plan B is so suited to you is because you were already detached! lol

Does it feel better, though, to be removed from the constant reminder of his affair?

Grapegirl,

Ah..... the beauty, serenity and POWER of a well run Plan B

wow great job GG. I wish my planb was running as smooth....
its been broken twice by me because I fell for his tricks, but I am back on track now.

I am just waiting for the peace to come now ... My mind still wanders way to much about all of this mess....

Again Great Job !!!!!!

What a strange, strange time. I knew WH was angling for something this week. The man only looks more and more like an [censored].

Yesterday, on Saturday, after DD's soccer game, I needed to run some errands. DD stayed at the house. DS was on his way home from university for the weekend. (Your basic laundry run.) I figured something was up, so I left a note asking DS NOT to let his father in if he came over. Too late. WH had called him on his cell while DS was driving home and said he'd meet him at our house to work some glitches out of his computer. Of course, DS couldn't meet his dad at the apartment no one has ever seen.

Now, DS, like all children, does not like being put in the middle. When he called to say his dad was coming over, I explained to him that when his father comes over, he often does "inappropriate" things. When pushed, I gave the computer dating service incident. However, DS STILL let his father in the house.

I received a panicy phone call from DD: Dad is in the house. I asked her just to watch him, follow him around the house. By the time I got home about 30 minutes later, my intermediary was at the house but WH had left moments before she came.

Bottomline:

WH was scavengering. He doesn't have the balls to send a list of things that he needs for his trip. Instead, he sets up false pretenses for getting them. He took a few things from the bedroom and perhaps elsewhere. But darn, he didn't take that bag of his crap that I'd bagged so nicely. I haven't inventoried everything yet. Think he'll need his strawberry condom on this trip?

WH did not fix the problems that DS had with his computer. Instead, WH told DS that DS could download something from an internet site to fix it but he wouldn't do it for him. WH has always been our computer guru/fixit man. DS let his father in the house with the expectation that he'd fix the computer. DS feels betrayed and used. Now, DS understands WHY I didn't want his dad in the house.

WH asked DD for a hug before he left. She said that she looked at him coldly and told him a firm "NO". Hope that felt good but I'm sure he thinks her attitude is MY fault.

So, apparently WH leaves the country on Tuesday. I hope he's told someone. I hope he spent the day with his parents. I guess I can get away from the drama in a big way for a whole month or so. Maybe WH will find my H over there. He got lost over there about a year ago, perhaps he's still there...

Oh Grape, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You have me rolling with very bad laughter... I am so proud of you and so sad your WH is being such a poophead. Come visit with DD to the cottage for a stretch. No WHs just great food, GREAT wine (the last of the Mr. J. stash is slipping down very nicely!) and dogs.

The weather here has been smashing! My little hut is freshly painted again (the latest results of my whatever you call it plan-not-supposed-to-call-it-B). Anyway the sunset is one of those yummy, romantic, pink and blue streaky ones...

You're doing great! Keep up the good work!

Jinx

Where's the hut?

Hut's up north...

Jinx

Are we talking polar? I've got a Rocky Mountain high happening here.

It's it funny how much stuff we can get done in Plan B? My house has been a big mess for ages. I just couldn't cope with it. Now, I'm doing a lot more things. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

On the water and somewhat lower than arctic, yes... :-) I've got a nice fire going and I'm enjoying my romance all by my lonesone... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> May as well!

Yeah, I am digging the smell of paint again. I changed the lock on the door yesterday!!! And I trimmed the hedges and painted my office and spackled things that probably didn't really need spackling.

What did you get done?
J.

I've been watering my garden. I want to pick some flowers and take them to work tomorrow. Took everything out of the pantry and painted it. Now, I've got to get it reorganized. Did a recycling run. Made a big dent in my bedroom until the vaccum broke. Since it's less than a year old I sent an email to the company about that. And, drum roll please, I can now see the entire top of my dining table. Unfortunately, DD has seized this newly cleared space and is making a Halloween house on it: 3D, pipe cleaners, foam balls, construction paper, the works. And she's singing away to herself as she makes it. Priceless.

GO GrapeGirl GO!

WooooHOOOOOOOO!

(Thanks for the recycling reminder <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />)
Jinx

Apparently, WH is heading overseas tomorrow for ages. The man is a very slow learner and doesn't seem to get the Plan B letter. Dude, I do not want contact with you. Got it!

He keeps sending me emails and I keep forwarding them to my intermediary. Anything I send to him, I send through her, with one exception. This morning, I sent him via email yet another copy of the Plan B letter. Same words. A letter of love and regret. Perhaps he'll get it this time.

He also has a way of not answering any questions put to him. He wants business to be HIS way. My reply is that he has no right to be surly or snide. He chose to make the situation the way it is.

I will be so glad he is not around.

Grapegirl,

you sound good!!! I hope to be where you are at soon. I am still fretting over WH's spiteful reaction to exposure to our priest and his boss. I am still fluctuating between detatchment and acceptance --- and anger, grief, and obsession. I'm doing my best to concentrate on the tasks at hand and act happy and contented in the hopes that I will actually feel like that after a couple weeks of Plan B.

I understand Plan B a lot better now. It does give me a lot of peace. WH has been doing things to try to break it. While he might not think it's working, I'm upset every time he tries. I continue to send things through my intermediary. I try to detach.

Everybody was right. I should have done it sooner.

Grape, keep working it! So far, only good has come from my decision to utilize plan B. I sure do understand that waffle between obsession and detachment. Isn't it wild?

I'll continue to have high hopes for us! We're going to have it all!
Sally

I think we will have it all too. We have the "high road". Right is might?

There's nothing we can really do anyway. We can only be ourselves. Our WS need to do what their cheatin' hearts lead them to do.

We just have to pretend we don't care

Hi Grapegirl,

Sounds you are doing great.

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While he might not think it's working, I'm upset every time he tries...[contact].....
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I agree with you on this. Which is why, even though I miss my H very much, wanting to stay away from the chaos helps me to not be tempted by WS. What I also find helpful is to remind myself of the 'boundary' we ourselves set in PBL - OW must be out of the picture before any discussion is possible. If not, we keep on moving on!

quote:-----------------------------------------------------
We just have to pretend we don't care
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The idea being that, eventually, we may not have to 'pretend'.

Enjoy the peace, GG. You deserve it.