Dear WH,
You must realize the suffering I have endured because of your relationship with OW. I know by your actions that you would like to keep both of us, but I have too much integrity to let that happen.
I haven't always been a perfect wife, to be sure, but no other man has touched me since I pledged myself to you. But you violated my trust - not once, but repeatedly for all these months. I'm no longer special to you and I can't live with that.
We pledged eternal love and commitment to each other on our wedding day. I have honored my commitment to you and I expect the same from you. Otherwise, there is no marriage to save.
I absolutely will not allow you to hurt me and insult me anymore. You must choose who you will be with, but my terms are absolutely no contact at all, ever, with OW again. That is not negotiable in any way.
I will do whatever it takes to work on this marriage, but she has to go once and for all. If you decide you are willing to permanently separate from OW and are willing to recommit yourself to our marriage, I will be willing to discuss our future together.
I am willing to avoid the mistakes I've made in the past and create a new life for both of us that will meet your needs. But I cannot do that until you end your relationship with OW.
It is very painful for me knowing that you are with her now. So I need to avoid seeing or talking to you. My sister has agreed to help make arrangements for you to visit the children. I ask you to respect my decision to separate from you this way. I still love you, but I cannot see you under these conditions.
I want us to rebuild our marriage some day. We need to build a new lifestyle in which everything we do makes us both happy. In order to do this, we must seek the guidance of a marriage counselor who can help pull us through this together as a team. Then there will never again be a reason for us to separate. I want to be your best friend, someone who is always there for you when you need me. And I want you as my best friend.
I loved you when we married and I continue to love you right up to this day. I just cannot be with you as long as you are seeing another woman.
God bless you, WH. The kids and I miss you very much.
With my love,
BS
Me - BS, 40
WH, 44
D-day 1/10/05
OW, 21, married
Affair started 11/04
3 children
DD 8
DS 6
DS 6
Asked WH to leave on 9/6/05
