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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
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Posts: 365 |
Mr. G,
I have read a lot of your posts on Stan-ley and Myrta's thread. I was hoping that you might be able to offer some advice for me. You may have read some of my other posts. If not, here is brief synopsis of my situation.
I had an EA/PA from March 2004 to July 2004. It ended shortly after D-day (I say shortly because I did willingly carry it on for a weeks afterwards). During the first month or so of recovery, I broke NC and wrote the OM an e-mail, which my H found.
During the rest of recovery, my H and I were in MC and there were many times where I was stubborn and defensive. After nine months of MC, my H and I bought felt discouraged, and my H said that he wanted a D (I said I had thought about it, but that it wasn't what I wanted). My H then stopped talking to me, and I broke NC again and called OM several times because I wanted to feel wanted. (Granted, I realize there is no excuse for breaking NC, but that was the excuse I told myself when I did it).
When my H found out that I had been calling the OM, he said that was it. He moved out and filed for D.
It took getting to this point for me to realize what an amazing man I had and how I took him for granted. I do sincerely believe that now that I have a better understanding of myself, my H, and my actions, that we can truly have a M that we can both be proud of. But I don't know how to get my H to see that.
As a BS, do you have any advice to offer?
Me, the WS, 25
My H, the BS, 25
Married Sept 2003
Served with D papers Aug 2005, but still hoping to make it work
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou
Proud of the woman that I have become, not the events that made me become that woman.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365 |
Me, the WS, 25
My H, the BS, 25
Married Sept 2003
Served with D papers Aug 2005, but still hoping to make it work
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou
Proud of the woman that I have become, not the events that made me become that woman.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 981
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 981 |
What is the saying? You never know what you have until its gone.
Thats how I felt after my husband said he didn't love me and hadn't for years.
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365 |
Why does it always have to be that you never really fully appreciate what you have until it's gone?
I just wish he would come back so that I can show him how much I appreciate him.
Me, the WS, 25
My H, the BS, 25
Married Sept 2003
Served with D papers Aug 2005, but still hoping to make it work
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou
Proud of the woman that I have become, not the events that made me become that woman.
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
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cinnymd,
I feel the same way. Many of us here have "seen the light" but it seems to be too late. All we want is a second chance.
Daisy
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
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Posts: 365 |
In my opinion, it is never too late. Don't give up, Daisy. I'm not.
By the way, I read your thread, and it seems that your H and my H are like two peas in a pod.
Last edited by cinnymd; 09/11/05 09:03 PM.
Me, the WS, 25
My H, the BS, 25
Married Sept 2003
Served with D papers Aug 2005, but still hoping to make it work
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou
Proud of the woman that I have become, not the events that made me become that woman.
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