I found out 2 weeks ago about my husband of 8 months had cheated on me. I know that God allows me out of a divorce with adultry, but I feel I need to fight for this marriage. I haven't stopped going to church although he did. He does not want to work things out and wants a divorce. I do not, and made him agree to give me 2 months, and I'm hoping God can do something awesome in him. He is not acting like himself in any way. He's been hanging around his older brother lately that is a horrible person, and he's starting to act like him. When I talk to him, I feel as though I'm talking to his brother. My husband has such a sweet and compassionate heart, and all this kind of took me by surprise, cause out of the blue I just asked him and he said yes. I want to work things out and desire him, I love him so much, but I don't understand after only 8 months he wants to give up that easily. He says he isn't in love with me and only marrief me to make me happy. Sometimes I feel really good, and others not so good. After church yesterday I was really good, and then my husband talked to me, and I felt like I had been knocked down by the devil. The devil has my husbands mind in a trap and I just want it to break free. I feel like God is doing something awesome in his life, but I just don't want to divorce him in the meantime.

How old are you guys?

How long have you been together?

Any kids?

More info, please.

We are both 22, we've been together for about 2 years, married 8 months, and there are no kids. Although he did want them about a month before all this happened.

Wow, that's a tough call. It's really hard when you're young and there are no kids. Often people don't feel the need to stay together.

Did he exhibit any of this kind of behavior before? Anything in the past you could look into? If he really wants to leave you there's not a whole lot you can do.

If you want to save your M, you must expose him to friends and family. Then you must use Plan A to make yourself the most attractive wife candidate in the world. Then you both have to go to MC.

Also consider...I stayed with my wife because I love her, but 9+ years of being together and two little kids had a lot to do with it. Will you ever be able to trust this man enough to have children with him? You know having kids won't change him...

Good luck

Pray pray pray.

Jennifer,

If you love your H, don't let him go. I was 24 when I had my A, only 6 months after we got married. I will admit that I didn't regret it at first. I was angry when my H exposed my A to my family. Be prepared for that. I even told my H that I never really wanted to marry him in the first place. It's all lies that WS tell themselves to justify what they are doing. Try to find some comfort in the fact that your H is following a very predictable script. But if you follow the MB principles (starting with Plan A), there is hope for you yet.

You may want to make an appointment with Steve H. The price seems kind of steep, but it's really not. And it the best money I ever spent.

Cinny

I would second that Cinny, the $ we spent on MB counseling w/ Dr. Harley Chalmers was well spent as well.

You're words helped me so much cinnymd, what you described is how it is. I'm staying with his parents, they asked me to stay with them, and they are just as perplexed by this as me, cause this is out of character of him. He moved most of his stuff yesterday from our house. He decided to stay at his parents house with his older brother, but it doesn't bother me any. He is mad at me, cause he thinks that everyone hates him cause of me. Sometimes I don't understand things, but I know everything's in God's timing, maybe one day he will want to work things out before it's too late. I constantly pray Job 33:14-18 in the morning, at night and at 3 in the morning, cause joy will be in the morning. He is just acting so mean lately and I can't explain it.

Hi Jen,

By Jen:
"He is just acting so mean lately and I can't explain it."

It's funny you mention the meaness because I just got done talking to my H about the meanness in his countenance, and eyes now and he is the one who committed the big Adultery 2 1/2 wks ago.
I think I can explain the meanness. You see, when your and my H did the "big A" it shattered thier soul, turned thier soul from light to darkness, they are now not the same person they used to be. Thats why everything "is out of thier character now." When they committed this sin, they not only sinned against God and us, but they sinned against thier own soul as the bible says. (MB would call it "the fog" "evil" "meanness" or "temporary insanity."). It is difficult to deal with I know, only God can restoreth the soul, if He is sought by that person, and turns from the terrible act, confesses, etc... My little 3 yrs old son handed me a light bulb today. He had taken it out of the lamp, about 20 minutes ago he did this!! I said "yep, the light has been turned off and pulled out of this marriage by my husband (who has the same name as child). Then my H went and put the light bulb back in, but it is not turned on yet, meaning the light (of God) is there, but hasn't been turned on yet, still dark where my H is. It's amazing how God will use the littlest of children to give me a lesson of what He is saying.

You know we talked of a marriage of a couple of friends of ours (Christians). The W committed the "big A" many years ago, and H stayed. She turned into the meannest, cruelest witch for the next 10 years, not him!! Her soul shattered!! Not his. He was broken and damaged as we are. But her soul was terrible for 10 years!! I will not look to that as my hope of this marriage. If my husband stays mean, trust me, I will be gone before long. I don't have the time to waste or the energy to stay with something like that.

We agreed to MC today, just don't know where to go yet. It will definitely be by Pastorial/Clergy though. We don't want anything secular.

I'm sympathizing with you Jen, I know it hurts alot! May God heal our broken hearts!!

Sent w/ Love, Lady