I have just confronted the love of my (5 yrs to the day) with the irrefutable evidence of an affair he has been having for over a year.
He has refused to talk to me about it - I sent him this email
was as shocked as anybody could be when Jacqui told me this news, Willo’s manipulative bed post crap, the trip to Sydney, It really is all too much for a little girl from the country, and I guess my fear of being deceived again got the better of me. I hate lies and hypocrisy above all else, and yes, I was untruthful about Jacqui because I didn’t want to damage your relationship with her, because, believe it or not, she is a really good friend to you. Same with Susi. (Not so Willo – not a good friend to you). Remember that I would not have considered seeing you again if it hadn’t been for their encouragement (Willo’s discouragement).
As angry as I might have sounded, if you have finished with seeing Jane, I am willing to believe you above everything else. Loyal to you above all else.
I used to have this wonderful gorgeous sense of complete and utter faith in you, and I would give anything to get that back.
I do believe that you are a good person, and there are probably very good reasons for your behavior, and I hope that one day you can tell me about it. Take your own advice – just be the best person you can be. I really want to forgive you.
It hurts me that other people seem to know more about what is going on in your life than I do.
You might think that there is no harm in “company” but that makes you physically and emotionally unavailable to me. No wonder you are tired all the time, were snappy with me whenever you visited in Bendigo, couldn’t be bothered reading my letters, or any emails longer than two lines (probably including this one!), can’t talk on the phone, didn’t miss me while I was in Europe, don’t have “time” to come and stay in Buderim, even when work is slow, could not leave Toowoomba for at least the next 2 years, will have something more “urgent” on Monday that you can’t come up here, etc! All the time you are weighing up – oh, it could be so much easier…
Michael Fox was probably right when he said that you wanted me up here for a reason, not just to ****** my life around. And when you called me to sort things out, I believe you when you tell me that you love me, and that Jane really means nothing to you.
If you really think that a vasectomy is the answer to our problems, then, ******, let’s sort it out. But I think you need time to decide if you are prepared to give yourself entirely to me, or if you want to just keep hedging your bets. You trusted me for years to be on the pill – I have no intention of getting pregnant in the near future, especially when you are emotionally involved with someone else. You don’t seem to trust me now – it’s the old adage – people who can’t be trusted, don’t trust others.
I know the events of the past few days have been harrowing for you, but please realize that you can’t hurt me more than I have been hurt already.
Remember, the only reason I have been telling you this “information” is to give you the opportunity to restore my trust in you. Nothing else matters. As I have said numerous times, you are a big and powerful man, and if you want me, you will do it. Me too, I am strong and powerful, and if it is company that you crave, I can give more than I have been giving. Maybe I was asking too much of you.
I love you with all my heart, and I would do anything to get you back, but I will not share you with another woman.
He has not replied, and will not answer my one call - when I left a message to say I was doing ok.
I guess I just need some encouragement <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
johannaelliott1@bigpond.com [/list]
