I've seen some references to Plan A w/ 180 in a few threads. But I haven't seen a full description or writeup of what the 180 part is, when to use it, what goals it is intended to address, etc. Could someone provide a link or writeup please? I'm familiar with Plan A, but not the 180 bit.

Weneedhelp,

I think you’re referring to this post I posted to a BH a while ago on how to combine plan A with the 180 degree strategy. Here you will find a full list of the 180 degree guidelines. Please note that this approach (to combine plan A and 180 or to implement the 180 alone) will only be necessary in certain situations & circumstances (check out this thread) and may not necessarily apply to your situation. It all depends on the FWS’s/WS’s behavior; if changes are needed etc.

The 180 is part of Michele Weiner-Davis <a href="www.divorcebusting.com" target="_blank">Divorce Busting</a>.

Harley does not recommend the 180 with Plan A. My guess is because it is a bit manipulative and a relationship should not be manipulative.

The 180 list on the posts referenced by Suzet is simply a list of suggestions to use. It is NOT a definitive list of actions you SHOULD take.
They are simply things to consider.

The 180 is simple. This is what Michele Weiner-Davis says.
"If you are doing something and getting a bad reaction/no reaction, do the opposite.
If you are doing something and getting (any) positive reaction from it, continue to do it."

If you are saying "I love you" and your spouse is not getting upset, continue to say it.
The 180 list referenced says to simply stop saying it if you are now saying it. This is incorrect.
If you are saying it & your spouse yells at you to stop, then stop.

Oh really???? This is interesting...I've noticed that when I am nonemotional this is when WS gets negative and stuff hits the fan. When I am there for him emotionally and open the door is when things have turned positive again. Example...the day that I offered him a big design job for a client and would teach him how to do the job and he could have the money...he got so excited he called me four times that day...later on that night he called me completley out of it and OW screamed in the background "I don't want you talking to her" and she grabbed the phone and got on it and told me "I don't want you talking to him, he's had a nervous breakdown today and I had to take him to the Dr to get him antidepressants." WS called me back a few minutes later, completley out of it just chatting away about being on cloud 9. I calmed him down...I was so happy that he was on the ADs and thought he might come out of the fog.

We later found out that there was no Dr. visit she had gone to her exBF and he gave her the drugs. WS confessed this to his best friend who just recently told me. We all knew something was up because of the timeline involved and that they have no money for Dr. Visits and Rxs.

So now....I am so confused. But it almost makes sense....the one day I got him as close as he used to be and he had a breakdown according to OW and she took care of the situation so he couldn't talk to me. Good grief...now I am almost seeing the light here...

The idea of MB is to be consistent.
Do as you say and say as you do. Your spouse should not have to guess over what you are thinking, feeling or saying.
Stop LoveBusting and meet your spouses needs.

Thanks all!