Hi all. I haven't posted in a while but I'm still lurking here every day and reading up on SAA & other MB materials on the site. H & I had a great weekend and while I haven't been there to supervise his every move, I sure am optimistic and hopeful about NC. He's shown a little resentment in the last week about my "constant need for information" when I ask questions, but I just smile and change the subject or something...once I get the answer(s) I'm looking for.

Anyway, the question: a lot of you talk about MCs who are "pro marriage". How do you find one? And, do you recommend ONLY going to one who's pro-M? I got in touch w/the MC we were seeing last year, hoping we could start up w/him again, as H was extremely skeptical going in but ended up really trusting MC so I'd like for at least H to go back. However, I recall in our first session he said, "I'll work with you if I feel it's worthwhile, and if I feel it isn't, I'll tell you straight out" Luckily he felt we had a lot of love & a marriage we both wanted to save, so he tried working w/us thru our "issues", but now with H's EA & me trying so hard to re-build from it & get on the right path for the rest of our lives, I question whether we should go back to him or just start fresh with someone new, with our new (EA) issue, who's pro-M?

Sorry this is so long, what do y'all think?

IMHO, the MC was saying, "If both H & W don't want to work on the M, I'm not going to waste my time and your money." That isn't a MC who is anti-M--he is just someone being honest with you.

If you and your H thought the MC helped, I don't know why you would change. It seems to me you would want someone who knew the history.

Well, H is wishy-washy. Some days I'm the greatest thing in the world, and others he never wanted to be married & have kids in the first place. This has come up pre-EA, during-EA, and post-EA. Some of it is fog babble I'm sure, but again, since it's come up before we can't say it's all fog. SO, if he's having a "I just don't want this!" day, I'm really really afraid MC will say "Well, he doesn't want it, we can't make him want it" or something to that effect. You know?