Today is my second anniversary, and my H still wants a divorce. I have felt truly miserable all day. I want my H more than anything. I want to take him and show the kind of W I know I can be. I just wish he would give me that chance.

I have more to say about this, but being an elementary school teacher, I only have about 15 minutes during my lunch, so that doesn't leave me much time to type.

I could certainly use some encouragement right about now though, either on the MB or at my work e-mail ... siatkaa@ocps.net

cinny, I am sorry I am not too familiar with your sitch but wanted to send MB hugs your way. {{{cinny}}}

{{{{cinny}}}} Hugs to you today. I am sorry you are feeling so sad.

Take care of yourself!

Sorry...mine is coming up next month, 6 years but I'm going to try and do something I truely enjoy that day! I suggest you ask the Lord to calm your storm and learn and grow. Hang in there. Later.

Tomorrow is my anniversery and I don't know whether to acknowledge it or not (he is still pretty foggy and fence sitting).

Big hug to you, I know how bad this hurts.

cinny,

The most painful days for members on this board are often anniversaries. Spending your time alone on a day that should be a one of celebration and joy is certainly emotionally devastating.

I would think much more so for a truly repentant WS. The ackowledgement that you are responsible for that destruction of an M and a family must be beyond comprehension.

Time and the Lord heal all wounds

Cym...

Thanks for reminding people of the fact that I am a WS and not the BS. While, yes, it does hurt knowing that my actions brought me to this place, I often feel like it is not my place to feel distraught over where I am.

I did get to see my H last night/this morning, but it was not in a way that I would have liked. I have read a lot about H wanted SF from their W, and nothing else. That seems to be where my H is right now. I am trying to set up boundaries for my own emotional well-being, but it is hard. From everything that I have learned about EN and the love bank, I want to take every opportunity to make deposits into his love bank by meeting his needs. That seems to be the only need that he gives me the opportunity to meet. But it is has gotten to the point where it is starting to affect my self-esteem.

I am afraid that if I stop giving him SF, that I will drive him further away, but I am also afraid that if I do give him SF that I will feel completely worthless.

This may have been a bit of a disjointed post, but it is the end of the day and, although my students are supposed to be silent reading at their desk, I am constantly having to stop what I am doing to help them re-focus. Gotta love fourth graders!