Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
Today is my second anniversary, and my H still wants a divorce. I have felt truly miserable all day. I want my H more than anything. I want to take him and show the kind of W I know I can be. I just wish he would give me that chance.

I have more to say about this, but being an elementary school teacher, I only have about 15 minutes during my lunch, so that doesn't leave me much time to type.

I could certainly use some encouragement right about now though, either on the MB or at my work e-mail ... siatkaa@ocps.net


Me, the WS, 25
My H, the BS, 25
Married Sept 2003
Served with D papers Aug 2005, but still hoping to make it work

History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou

Proud of the woman that I have become, not the events that made me become that woman.
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
cinny, I am sorry I am not too familiar with your sitch but wanted to send MB hugs your way. {{{cinny}}}


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 474
Z
Member
Member
Z Offline
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 474
{{{{cinny}}}} Hugs to you today. I am sorry you are feeling so sad.

Take care of yourself!


Zorro94
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530
W
Member
Member
W Offline
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530
Sorry...mine is coming up next month, 6 years but I'm going to try and do something I truely enjoy that day! I suggest you ask the Lord to calm your storm and learn and grow. Hang in there. Later.

Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
J
Member
Member
J Offline
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
Tomorrow is my anniversery and I don't know whether to acknowledge it or not (he is still pretty foggy and fence sitting).

Big hug to you, I know how bad this hurts.


Me-41 BS (FWS)
DH-41 WS (FBS)
2DD's- 10 and 12
Married 15 years
Separated for 2 years after my A
Reconciled for 1 year before his A
D-day for his A 8/23/05
WH moved out 9/16/05
Divorce final 1/23/07
Affair ended or month or so later
My Story
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,892
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,892
cinny,

The most painful days for members on this board are often anniversaries. Spending your time alone on a day that should be a one of celebration and joy is certainly emotionally devastating.

I would think much more so for a truly repentant WS. The ackowledgement that you are responsible for that destruction of an M and a family must be beyond comprehension.

Time and the Lord heal all wounds


Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle

You believe easily what you hope for ernestly

Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
Cym...

Thanks for reminding people of the fact that I am a WS and not the BS. While, yes, it does hurt knowing that my actions brought me to this place, I often feel like it is not my place to feel distraught over where I am.

I did get to see my H last night/this morning, but it was not in a way that I would have liked. I have read a lot about H wanted SF from their W, and nothing else. That seems to be where my H is right now. I am trying to set up boundaries for my own emotional well-being, but it is hard. From everything that I have learned about EN and the love bank, I want to take every opportunity to make deposits into his love bank by meeting his needs. That seems to be the only need that he gives me the opportunity to meet. But it is has gotten to the point where it is starting to affect my self-esteem.

I am afraid that if I stop giving him SF, that I will drive him further away, but I am also afraid that if I do give him SF that I will feel completely worthless.

This may have been a bit of a disjointed post, but it is the end of the day and, although my students are supposed to be silent reading at their desk, I am constantly having to stop what I am doing to help them re-focus. Gotta love fourth graders!


Me, the WS, 25
My H, the BS, 25
Married Sept 2003
Served with D papers Aug 2005, but still hoping to make it work

History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou

Proud of the woman that I have become, not the events that made me become that woman.

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 551 guests, and 86 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
litchming, scrushe, Carolina Wilson, Lokire, vivian alva
72,031 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by Vallation - 07/24/25 11:54 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,031
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0