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Stop apologizing for doing the right thing. You make yourself appear wishy washy in the WS eyes. They are fogged up as it is and now you are blurry with indeciveness.
L.
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" I am sorry you are upset. I did and will continue to do that which I believe is right and best for our marrige. You must do what you think is right too."
This was my reply when Squid raged against my expsoure , snooping , protecting my finances etc.
Orchid is right, do not apologise for doing the right thing. Have pride that you are standing up for righteousness.
MB Alumni
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ditto Orchid and b0b.
A WS reaction to exposure is predictable. Orchid has some great reverse babble up her sleeves.
No need to apologize for telling the truth, especially when the goal is to save a good thing. marriages thrive on openess and honesty. Affairs crumble in the face of openess and honesty for they are built on a very pitiful pile of deceit and selfishness.
so when are you going to expose to her family and yours?
Me BS 44
XH 45
M 20 years
D19
D12
DDay 11.29.04
Separated 12.29.04
Plan A 24.02.05
Plan B 10.9.05
Plan D 2.2.06
Divorce 13.6.06
OW - former friend and D12's x-godmother (Skunkypoo)
OWH - philander, XH's former best friend (still shares skunkypoo with XH)
Anger = drinking a rat poison and waiting/wishing the rat would notice you drink it and the rat die from it.
Redhat
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both she and i have very few mutual friends.
since we live very far from each our family, almost on contact , so i do not think it will affect her by exposing the affair to family or friends .
However my wife do seem to sit in two boats, this OM for the purpose of EN for her, and me. of course , since she fell in love with this guy, she do not want get EN from me any longer,however she do hope i could live by her, because
my wife can not visit this guy quite often, since both of them work at different place.
but my wife deleveoped a very strong EA with him, every day she called him two - three times.
Every week my wife could have chance to see him one or two days, but they could not live together due to the workplace.
However my wife seem very satisfied with this condition, she would like to meet him one or two time per week, and spending several hours with him there, and then drive back to home, and she know i m always at home waiting for her, and i do think she knew i love her. but she pretend that i do not love her.
I have tried to use plan a for about one month, but did not seem work, because i still know she contact with this guy via telephone every day.
I plan to move to plan B, however in my case i do know if i leave her, she still only have one or two days time to visit him and spend several hours there and go back at the same day beause of work for the next day.
Because before her affair, i really behavor very bad to her, often ignore her. so i suppose she must be so supprised when i am trying to change myself, however no matter what i do for her, she did not pay much attention to it.
now she behave just like the way that i did to her before.
If the plan A does not work in the end? Plan B will work? since they will not live together , if they do , only for a couple days, so i mean it is hard for them to faults from each other.
Any suggestion, please
so i would like to get the advice , should I contince PLAN A?
Last edited by pinetree; 09/16/05 05:50 AM.
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My H put up with alot of my bad behavior for many years.
One of the things he has mentioned in the past few months, was" why all of a sudden are you suddenly treating me like you love me, and I am important to you, when you never cared before".
I did care, and I did love him, I just had no idea that my actions were so unproductive.
As I have made changes, he has constantly said that they were not sincere, and a form of manipulation, and then I would get baited into a fight.
Finally I began to see the picture.....and instead of reacting, told him that I had boundaries that he was to respect, that meant no more name calling, or playing the blame game.
I was willing to talk as long as things would be calm.
It has only been a little while, but he has been much better.
Praying for a miracle!!!!!!
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pinetree~ Hi, welcome to Marriage Builders. I would love to try and help you by offering my advice regarding your current situation, but before I can, perhaps you can help clear up my confusion about something...In your first posts on 9/14/05, based on the acronyms and pronouns that you used, it appears that you are a woman with a cheating husband, however, all of your posts today seem to be based on your being just the opposite of those first posts, which would make you...a man with a cheating wife. Can you clear this up for everyone so that we may be better equipped to offer you some solutions on how to proceed in your present crisis? I can tell by reading your posts that English is not your native language...I'm sure that that, coupled with your trying to use and make sense of some of the very confusing abbreviations/acronyms that we use here, have made what is already a very tough situation to face, even more difficult for you. Perhaps once you set us straight, we can offer you much more comfort and guidance. Here is a link that will help you understand all the marriage builder type language/abbreviations/acronyms... Marriage Builders Acronyms, Smilies & UBB Code Hope this helps... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Sincerely, Mrs. Wondering Here is a copy of all posts made by pinetree since becoming a new poster at MB on 9/14/05. I thought it might be helpful to have the history all in one place...and perhaps it may serve to clear up any confusion regarding the acronyms used here at Marriage Builders.-posted by pinetree 09/14/05 on GQII
*Today I send a letter with some photo and telephone bill which indicate that my WH has both EA and PA to the leader for his work department, however i do know my WH has not good relationship with this leader, because my WH has often talk something badly about him, however today i still decide to expose my WH ' affair to this leader.
I just now are worried if it is right to do so? because my WH does not like this leader not all.
please give me advice !
*hi, no, they do not work together, because i have no way to find OW'H, so i decide to expose it to this workplace.
This letter including the photo proving they slept at our flat, and the telephone bill showing how strong my WH attach to this OW.
*hi, we are both end of 30. we have no kids, and have been married nearly 3 years.
*i thought maybe if his leader and colleage know my WH' affair would also form some pressure on him, because anyway something brough under the light, however i am still not sure what will happen, i am so worried now!
*this letter does not work, what should i do it? it will simply hurt my WH. He will mad at me for sure since he knew that i know he does not like this leader. should i tomorrow call this leader to return the letter back to me before opening it? Please give me some advice!! Have i done a wrong thing towards this issue?
*hi,mflake, please based on your experience, shall i tell the leader to return the letter to me ? because i do know if this leader knows it, he will make joke at my WH.
*now i am so worrying about , maybe i can not get the letter back, because i send it via registered letter , and have no sending address on it.
oh, what should i do ? -posted by pinetree 9/16/05 on GQII
*After my WW knew that i have exposed A to her college and friends, she seemed very quiet about it.
However today i told my WW saying i felt sorry that i also exposed A to our neighours, after hearing it, she seemed very upset, and told me I will only push her more far from me by doing so.
i do not know if it is true. any suggestion?
*both she and i have very few mutual friends.
since we live very far from each our family, almost on contact , so i do not think it will affect her by exposing the affair to family or friends .
However my wife do seem to sit in two boats, this OM for the purpose of EN for her, and me. of course , since she fell in love with this guy, she do not want get EN from me any longer,however she do hope i could live by her, because
my wife can not visit this guy quite often, since both of them work at different place.
but my wife deleveoped a very strong EA with him, every day she called him two - three times.
Every week my wife could have chance to see him one or two days, but they could not live together due to the workplace.
However my wife seem very satisfied with this condition, she would like to meet him one or two time per week, and spending several hours with him there, and then drive back to home, and she know i m always at home waiting for her, and i do think she knew i love her. but she pretend that i do not love her.
I have tried to use plan a for about one month, but did not seem work, because i still know she contact with this guy via telephone every day.
I plan to move to plan B, however in my case i do know if i leave her, she still only have one or two days time to visit him and spend several hours there and go back at the same day beause of work for the next day.
Because before her affair, i really behavor very bad to her, often ignore her. so i suppose she must be so supprised when i am trying to change myself, however no matter what i do for her, she did not pay much attention to it.
now she behave just like the way that i did to her before.
If the plan A does not work in the end? Plan B will work? since they will not live together , if they do , only for a couple days, so i mean it is hard for them to faults from each other.
Any suggestion, please
so i would like to get the advice , should I contince PLAN A?
Edited by pinetree (09/16/05 06:50 AM) -posted by pinetree 9/16/05 on Plan A/Plan B Board
*my ww do seem to sit in two boats, this OM for the purpose of EN for her, and me. of course , since she fell in love with this guy, she do not want get EN from me any longer,however she do hope i could live by her, because
my wife can not visit this guy quite often, since both of them work at different place.
but my wife deleveoped a very strong EA with him, every day she called him two - three times.
Every week my wife could have chance to see him one or two days, but they could not live together due to the workplace.
However my wife seem very satisfied with this condition, she would like to meet him one or two time per week, and spending several hours with him there, and then drive back to home, and she know i m always at home waiting for her, and i do think she knew i love her. but she pretend that i do not love her.
I have tried to use plan a for about one month, but did not seem work, because i still know she contact with this guy via telephone every day.
I plan to move to plan B, however in my case i do know if i leave her, she still only have one or two days time to visit him and spend several hours there and go back at the same day beause of work for the next day.
Because before her affair, i really behavor very bad to her, often ignore her. so i suppose she must be so supprised when i am trying to change myself, however no matter what i do for her, she did not pay much attention to it.
now she behave just like the way that i did to her before.
If the plan A does not work in the end? Plan B will work? since they will not live together , if they do , only for a couple days, so i mean it is hard for them to faults from each other.
Any suggestion, please
so i would like to get the advice , should I contince PLAN A?
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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-I think first of all, you need to quit playing games.
9 years now ... and some days you still say grrr!
Hang in there.
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as matter of fact, i m man with cheating wife, as the first post, i just want to know the result for the thing that i have done , so i just simply write i m a wife dealing with a cheating husband. ~ I remain confused...what motive could you possibly have to misrepresent yourself on this forum? because before her affair, i often neglegt him, but she has bared it very long time Even within this post you change from the masculine to the feminine pronoun...why? I don't get it...Is this a language barrier (what is your mother tongue?) or, as RookKev suspects, are you just playing games? It is tough for people here to want to help you if you aren't honest with us...I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt...BUT, you must understand, that we have had folks, in the past, come here and make up stories for "kicks", I suppose...we refer to them as "trolls"...we take infidelity very seriously around here, and if you aren't serious, please have respect for those here who really need help...We are about helping others through the crisis of infidelity and marriage building...Although we do like to have fun, we do not appreciate being duped...I have to be honest with you, you have really put your credibility in question, however, if you are, indeed serious, please provide us with plausible reason/s for your charade, and we can, perhaps, proceed from there... Mrs. Wondering
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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