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D Day was just barely 3 weeks ago. We haven't entered into
a contract, but WH seems to be sincere. He has asked me several times this week to find one of my girlfriends to
go out with on Saturday night, as he wants to go out with
his cousin. This is the same cousin who knew about the A and
I am sure was out bowling with WS and OW on occassion. I told him the other night that this really bothers me.....I am not sure what to do, should I give him some space?, go out myself?, spy on him? - I was thinking about parking down the street
from what he is doing and watch what time he leaves ect.....
AM I JUST GOING MAD ?????????????????????
Chat
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Oh baloney. He is about as sincere as a raccoon digging into the garbage. If he were sincere, he wouldn't be whining about needed space, he would be taking you out dancing.
Read everything on this site. Read Plan A. Follow the guidelines. Don't let him blind you. Don't let your own insecurities blind you.
It is time for tough love.
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Thanks Larry ! I will give it tough love.
Chat
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This is where the POJA comes in.
IF you don't whole heartedly agree with the situation then you make it known. You tell your H the reason why you are not comfortable with it and how it will affect you.
I confess that I don't know your story other than this thread......but.....this raises big red flags with me. Especially if he's wanting to go out with someone that enabled the A.
BS(me) 35 - WH -36 / 3 Daughters / Multiple DDays / Seperated 3 Times/ In Recovery Since 10/01
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Miss Priss:
Chat told us that her WH has a history of being cruel to her and gave her sex tips from the OW.
Chat:
Is that a brief summation?
Did you answer the questions that I asked you the other day?
That would help us help you...
The MB Program involves him writing a NO CONTACT letter to the OW and spending all of his recreational time WITH YOU during RECOVERY. Sounds like he is still involved in the A and wants you to go along with this...and enable him...
Tell him that you are SERIOUS about wanting to WORK ON YOUR MARRIAGE and that will involve spending ALL OF YOUR FREE TIME TOGETHER right now...
This makes absolutely no sense at all and I would calmly yet firmly tell him so....
Last edited by mimi1254; 09/16/05 09:39 AM.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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If something smells rottenly fishy ~~~ don't pour soy sauce over it and eat it .... push it off your plate !!!
This plan of your H's smells like week-old-scrod to me !
Last edited by Pepperband; 09/16/05 09:51 AM.
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If something smells rottenly fishy ~~~ don't pour soy sauce over it and eat it .... push it off your plate !!!
This plan of your H's smells like week-old-scrod to me ! Pep: I just have to say that you are sooo HILARIOUS.... You have the best ANALOGIES.... You make me laugh out loud about these serious life situations.... Thanks!!!!
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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My husband has always said cruel things to me. He has been exceptionally
Nice since starting 4 nights ago when we went out to the bar (in which he has
Never brought me before) and we ran into the OW – I didn’t say a thing
Except to my husband – I really felt empowered because I thought I can’t
Believe what she looked like, I guess I was expecting a super model and
She looked like trailer trash! I told him so and he just couldn’t believe after
Seeing us in the same room the difference…this is where I thought the fog
Was lifted – but now I think only cleared for a moment….
Anyway, My WH is taking me out to dinner tonight…I was thinking about
Not making any rifts today when he calls or when we get ready to go out
And then at dinner maybe giving him a letter with Plan A or Plan B – what
Would he like to choose ???? Give me some ideas, O.K.
You guys/gals are great!
Chat
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Chat:
It doesn't matter how the OW looks..
What's important is how the OP makes the WS FEEL..
No letters tonight...
Just GOOD LIGHTHEARTED CONVERSATION...
No Relationship Talk....
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Boy Mimi - you really hit home with this and this is
exactly what my WH told me a couple of weeks ago.....
Chat
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