I have to say that the one positive thing for me by keeping in touch with my ex wife is that each time we talk I feel more assured that I made the right decision to get divorced. We never had kids and I have a feeling our interaction won't keep up but I have to tell you what she said to me the other night. First off, she came from a divorced home and I'm not sure if that has anything to do with her cold hearted attitude. My older brother is married to her older sister and because of our split she hasn't communicated with her sister for awhile and/or seen her nephew. So she says to me the other night, "You know-all you lost was a wife, I lost a sister and a nephew." So being that I wanted to give her a chance to think about what she said and maybe include the fact that she lost me-for good measure, I said something like, is that all you lost? And I swear she did not catch on to what I was getting at. I never met a more selfish person in my life. Another red flag that we should all look out for in our dating relationships, is exactly this. In the book Love Must Be Tough, he says to "guard against selfishness" and man, this is so true.
I realize now that she was completely wrong for me and it freaks me out how long I tried to make it work between us. Just venting....

One of the more painful things my XW said to me as we were in the process of getting divorced is that she would miss getting together with my family. Wouldn't miss me, just my family.

hmmm... I said something to mine once during the intial stages of my Plan A in response to him saying that he had wanted to try a trial separation ... I said that I'd agree to that if he'd agree to not seeing the OW during that time as well - kind of to see who he would miss more... his response was that he wouldn't do that because of course he would miss me if he was ALONE.

And, the classic STUPID remark he made, when we were at one point discussing that our marriage deserved a second chance (rather, *I* was discussing, he was probably thinking about the ball game or beer) I told him that I couldn't know he was unhappy in our marriage if he didn't COMMUNICATE that to me ... and he said "So, *I* should suffer for the rest of my life because I didn't communicate?!"

errr... ummm... no, of course it should be ME who suffers... d'oh!

They say some dumb stuff, some of it is VERY hurtful. Actually the most hurtful thing my ex said to me was that he loved me and he'd miss me a lot. I just couldn't quite get my mind wrapped around the idea that he could feel that way and still leave.

CS