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and he acted as if he did not understand.
He asked me when I wanted this Divorce, I said as soon as possible.
Then he started doing laundry.
I don't know if he heard me? I have so much to do to take care of me and the kids.
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I told him I want a DIVORCE and he acted as if he did not understand
Okay, you told him you want a divorce, he asked when & started the laundry.
So?
What else did you expect him to do?
Prayers & God Bless!
Chris
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I expected a conversation of some sort, or him to pack his things.
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So do you really want a divorce or were you just trying to get a reaction from him?
What kind of conversation were you expecting?
Are you going to file?
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Maybe he didn't know what else to do, and was stalling for time. Gathering up the laundry is a no-brainer task, it temporarily gets him off the hook for talking about a really unpleasant topic "I want a divorce"
Could be he was hoping you would forget about it if he was doing something helpful around the house.
To echo Chris - are you going to file? Or was "I want a divorce" a brick thrown at his head to shock him into shaping up?
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I agree. Having your spouse tell you that she wants a divorce ASAP is bound to throw anyone for a loop unless he's heard this threat over and over or he's been expecting it and really doesn't care.
If this is a "wake up!" threat, I can garauntee you that it won't work. Why should a spouse ever negotiate with a gun to his/her head? As soon as my ex said this, I was finished. No more talk, no more negotiation, it's over. Once your spouse plays the divorce card, there is no more game to play. The other spouse simply turns away. So if you don't really want a divorce, don't ever utter those words!
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That is true ive been told by my wife she wants a divorce. that was 10 months ago and we never speak of it on the very few times we do talk
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I am sorry, but your husband's doing laundry part cracked me up. I can easily imagine you having expected a serious relationship talk and instead seeing your husband doing laundry must have been something.
But he DID hear you. So do not repeat it, unless you really mean it.
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Rather than telling him something and expecting him to read your mind (by thinking he will start a conversation of some sort, or him to pack his things) ASK him questions or tell him you would like to about whatever.
The reason the book, "Men are from MArs, Women from Venus" is such a big hit is that people need to learn how to communicate properly.
If you expect a response, ask for a response.
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I will file. There really is only so much banging your head on the wall can accomplish. Things are not going to change. I have to much hate built up and I can not afford counseling, neither can he.
Thank you all for the advice.
I am working on what I have to do for me and my kids.
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Ryesmom,
If you are still so full of hate for him and his 10 year old daughter you threw out of the home, and are so frustrated that you cannot control him, I think you would be doing him an dhis children a failure by leaving him.
If you want a divorce, get a divorce. Take your expectations you have for him and lay them on another person. Or better yet, just try to control yourself and not him and his children.
T
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So how long have you been in Plan B?
I don't recall seeing your letter posted here.
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Confused thankyou for all your support
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Confused thankyou for all your support ???? Sarcasm?
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I made a conditional statement that started with an IF.
Did you write that you had so much hatred for your husband?
Did you write that you threw his 10 year old daughter out of the home?
Didn't you, in so many words, write that you had expectations of what your husband would do when you said you wanted a divorce, and that he didn't act according to those expectations.
No, I didn't use tact. I commented on what I saw, and gave my opinion.
So I say it again, if you are so full of hate and bitterness towards your husband, and you do nothing to change your attitude towards him and his family, then HE is better off with you divorcing him.
You are telling me that you HATE someone you swore to love for the rest of your days.
The choice is yours, leave your hatred behind or leave your husband behind.
T
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check out this site. I thought it might help you with any questions you have, or for just general info about the big D http://lifeaftermarriage.com/
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