Just quick update....WH had drunken ONS 02/99 D-day 8/01, had A 6-7/05 D-day 7/05. He denied any PA until confronted with undeniable proof. We were living 1200 miles apart at the time of the A, he's in the army and away at school. Since D-day our 2 boys and I have moved to be with my husband and try and work on us and get past everything. I have now been here a month and for the most part things have been ok. I had told him that my biggest fear was of me coming here and us going back to our old patterns acting like nothing ever happened. Well, that is exactly what happened and I realized it last weekend while he was hunting. It bothered me that he even went because at that point he had not made an appointment to seek counseling or even picked up any of the books I have bought and already read. After a day of pretty much not speaking and me getting an appointment for IC I told him how I felt and he said I was right that without him making any effort I should be upset. All last week was great, he even made an appointment for IC for Saturday. That all ended Friday night. He came home for dinner (his class right now is from 2-9:30 pm) and told me that he would help me get our room in order, the last room in the house to be unpacked. He called when he got out of class saying he was going to the store to get some beer and that a friend of his called and wanted him to come over. I was upset that he even thought about going over there because he said he would help me (I've done the whole house myself). I was also upset becuse he knows how I feel about him drinking anywhere without me, not that he drinks alot it's just since the ONS I don't like him having any kind of drink if I'm not around. Well, I told him to go because I refuse to be the reason that he doesn't see friends. When he got home he could tell I wasn't happy about it. I told him not to call the guy and say he wasn't coming. That it would upset me more. I told him to go that we could do our room on Saturday. I was helping our youngest son with something and I heard my WH go outside. When I was done I went outside and he was just hanging up. I asked him who he was talking to and he said that his friend called him and he told him that he couldn't come over because he was tired. While I appreciated him making that choice something bothered me. I checked his phone and of course he called him. I just causually asked him why his friend called and he said that he was waiting and hadn't heard from him. I got upset and asked why he lied over something so little as who called who. I could really care less about who made the call but I thought we were making progress and for him to lie just really upset me. I tried explaining this and wasn't making any progress so I just went in the other room and we still aren't speaking. I know I may have over reacted, I didn't yell or tell him he was wrong, I really tried not to LB but now I just don't know what to do. Oh, also, OW called the house that he was living at before I got here last weekend, leaving a message saying that she really needed to talk to him. We tried calling to tell her not to contact either one of us again but she wouldn't answer. Where do I go from here? Did I overreact or should he understand that even the smallest of lies just doesn't help us. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
