Hi this is my first post and I still cant believe that I would even be visiting this type of site! My H and I have been married for a little over 2 years and been together for 5. We have always been that couple that all of our friends have looked up to and I think this only makes it that much harder. It has been almost 3 months since D-day and I still cant stop obsessing over it. He owns a small buisness and was working very hard to get it up and running. He is an artist and another artist (the women) asked if she could share his buisness space because he was using it as a studio as well. In order to save money on the rent I agreed to let her share it.Stupidest thing I have ever done in my life!!! She is married as well but my H had informed me a year or so before that he had been interested in her when they first met. But we were married now and so is she and we both have children so I thought everything would be fine. Then soon after she moved into the space he told me that she had been cheating on her husband for about 6 months and I freaked. He told me over and over that he was not interested and would never put himself in a situtation where cheating was even possible. Well he did!
Come to find out she had been asking him to kiss her for about a month before things actually turned physical but this was only after he had confessed to her that he couldnt stop thinking about her. She used his friends and our daughter to get closer to him and made me feel like a bad mother everytime I was around because of the amount of attention she gave to my daughter. To end this quickly I quess, they ended up sleeping together. He never came home that night which wasnt uncommon because he always was at the store/studio late, and sometimes fell asleep there. But it was different. I found his phone the next day with only her number on it, even my calls from that morning were erased. I confronted him and he admitted it immediately! We have been to counseling and have been talking constantly. He really is making an effort but I still cant get over this. It dominates very thing in my life and i dont know how to get rid of these feelings.

Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a great place to be under the circumstances. Most of us never thought this would happen to our marriage, so you are not alone.

Your situation sounds very promising to me. Usually they continue to lie about an affair, even after you have caught them red-handed.

Have you let her husband know what happened? Has your husband written a no contact letter to her?

It takes time, but you CAN have a better marriage than before. You might want to post on the recovery board. Folks there will have tips on how to get over this. Don't give up hope, many people here have gone on to have happier marriages.