Does anyone else ever feel like ur life has turned into something off of the Jeryy Springer show?? Wh stated he wanted to be with ow last week. MOved out an in with her. He has continued to call me an come by house to pick up very few things. Ow huspand has called me an offered his free advice as this is not first A his wife has been involved in. Refeered him to this site an some reading material by Dr Harvey. Today H comes by to see what bills are due here (fake reason) H appears to be miserable. I could see glimbses of man i love.Stated he does not want D. Says he is sorry for all the pain an implies he want to come back home. I do not feel I can handle that at this point. Is it wrong to want him to go for some IC before that happens. I have managed to be calm an state that i am still his wife an will be here when he works out some issues but do not feel he needs to come home immediately from her. Am I wrong? i told him i do want our marriage but i want different than we had before. I am will to do MC an he knows this as i had session scheduled for day he moved in with OW. This forum has been so helpful to me . please advice before i make any more mistakes.

BB,

Don't do what I did . After WH moved in with OW he came back 2 days later only to leave a week later. This was before I knew about MB'S.

I let him come home last month, because him and OW supposedly broke up... I got the N/C letter and all within 3 days she had contacted him and he was gone again. I now realize he was not really ready to come home. It was on a whim due to the fact she found out he was coming to see me and got mad and booted him out....

I should have made him stay with his sister to prove he wanted to come home. Instead I allowed him home and then he was gone again. It really tore my kids up as well as myself... So if he wants to come home make him prove it by actions not just words.... DON'T MAKE MY MISTAKE!! Believe me it really hurt almost worse than the first time....

Thanks Hurting, thats what i was thinking ,and I told him I feel he does to do some work . I also told him i cannot tolerate any contact an that was something he would have to deal with.. He says he is fixing to move an change jobs. But there have been so many lies that I am scared to believe any thing He says at this point

Well you are right about the lies.... ACTION is the only thing you can believe now... Belive me I have fallen for many of the words and got hurt again....

I'm not saying he does not mean it but until he gives you the action to back the words stay strong and respect your boundries.... This is a lesson I learned the hard way ...

Good Luck to you ....

Thanks again. Trying to stay strong here an stick to bounderies. We are small town people an so this is big news which is very embarrasing,,, We have been married 11 years an i never dreamed we would be going thru something like this. A year an a half ago H was in terrible 4 wheeler accident that permanetly damaged one of his legs. He has metal rods an total rebuilt knee due to this injury. It seemed he began to withdraw after the accident.

I am sorry to hear about your H's accident. That had to be rough for him and you.

I can only imagine how you feel living in a small town. I live in large city and its pretty embarrasing to me just because of all the pople we know. But you must remember you did nothing wrong.... WH and OW should be the ones embarrassed.

I understand about being blindsided and never expecting something like this to happen to you. I felt the same way, I never expected the man I loved for 25 yrs to do this to me either. But we as BS's have learned a lot and have become stronger so this will not happen to us again. We now know what to look for and how to keep it from happening in any realtionship we have. Hard lesson to learn but it will be something we learned from.

Just keep those boundries up and remember ACTION is what counts....

Listen to Hurting. IF he wants to come home, there needs to be safeguards for you. I would request a no contact letter, and marriage counseling. He was in a big hurry to move out, take your time letting him move back in.

whoo Hoooo

I gave some good advice ...... I been there done that one .. twice even ....

I am definetly not in a hurry at this point .Oh of course there is the part of u that wants ow to know he is wanting to come home but i will not get involved in it. The choices are his at this point as I have my hands full dealing with our families an friends in our community The reprieve has done me some good as it Has beenhard to be away from , but at least there is no wondering where he is an if he is talking to her.Today I know where he is. I will just work on myself an see what tomorrow holds

Very sound advice your giving yourself. And from what I hear you need to have your strength and mind prepared for the hard work of recovery.

So until you really are prepared and ready don't let him come home. Make him earn his way home....