So as not to threadjack Weneedhelp's question on boundaries, I created this thread for my own question on MCs.

From grovetuck:
It's interesting that you bring this up. I've found the same reaction from my IC and the MC we went to for a while (who is now WH's IC <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />)

I've felt that our MC wasn't a pro-marriage therapist somewhat based on this. Once the MC heard from myself and then heard WH say the textbook "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" and the "I never loved you" speil, the MC started telling me I needed to begin preparations to 'make a clean break' and start the healing process!

I felt completely betrayed by the MC at that point. I had interviewed him prior to making an appt and I felt satisfied that he would indeed be a coach for us and help us begin on that long road to recovery. Instead, I got that.

What really bothers me at this point is this is the therapist my WH is using for his IC. So I feel now that here's this professional that *I* sought out to help us, but instead he's helping my WH accept his decision to 'make a clean break' and move on.

I kind of feel like everything is working against us getting back together. Maybe we aren't supposed to be together?

How do you deal with a therapist that's like this? I don't feel that I can. I've tried telling WH that MC was working for *me* (MC in general, not that C) and that I'd like to continue it, but he's not interested at this point. He says ... oh, too much crap... basically it's a no go.

edited to give proper credit to grovetuck.

Boy I'm with you. I "feel" the problem isn't so much as being anti-marriage, but a lack of understanding when dealing with people in affair situations.

They don't get it and because of that, they can and often do, cause more problems.

just my two cents.

GTO