Wanted to start a new thread for this.
I saw another thread about online dating, but I have such a great story I wanted to brag about it on a new thread!!

I have recently gotten married to a wonderful guy that I met on EHarmony, and I would recommend it to anyone.

I first went onto Eharmony about 6 months after my D. They advertise on the Christian radio station that I listen to, and I decided to try it out.

At first I got a lot of responses. Some I "rejected" immediately because I could tell they were not a good match. For instance, one said he didn't like sports. That would never work for me!

I communicated with about 4 others. I eventually met one of them. We dated for about 4 months. Things were going fine, we got along ok, but he just did not feel like "the one". At the time, I felt like I wasn't even ready to meet "the one" yet, and in fact I decided to quit "dating.". Meanwhile I occasionally received a match from Eharmony, as my subscription was still valid. I just clicked the button that said I was taking a break from dating, so that these guys would not wonder why no one was responding.
One day I received a match for a guy that sounded interesting. I was still convinced that I was not going to date for a while, but I figured if he started the communication process, I would respond. He did. It took us about 6 weeks of emailing before we finally met. He asked me what I was looking for in a relationship and I said "Nothing! I am not ready to be in a relationship." he just smiled, and asked me out again. We saw each other about twice a week for a couple of months. I was amazed at how many times he would make a comment and I would think to myself "that is what I was just thinking". We both attended a foursquare church. We both like to watch sports. We are both outgoing. We joke a lot. We both like to cuddle, and we are not afraid of public displays of affection. I came to realize that we were very compatible. After awhile I had to admit that he was "the one". When he asked me, again, what I was looking for in a realtionship, I knew that the answer was simple: Him. I was looking for someone just like him. Only I never thought it was possible.

Eharmony matched me to people with similar religious interests - religion is very importnat to me, and was also important to every match I had. A few were 10 years older, but most were similar age (my husband is only 1 year older).
I kept my picture hidden until the 4th stage of communication and so did he. I am not fat, or unattractive. I just wanted to be cautious. And so did he. I was also not interested in any who was shallow.

We dated for 6 months. We have been married for 9 months now.
At first I was a little embarassed to admit to people that we met through Eharmony. I am no longer embarassed. I am proud of my husband. By sharing my story with others, I have had many people admit that they are also on Eharmony,and hearing my story has given them encouragement to keep with it, even when the first few matches don't work out.

I am thankful for this man I am married to every single minute of every day. He is kind, he loves my children, he treats me with respect. He is affectionate, handsome, and sexy.

He says that he went to Eharmony because he heard it advertised on the same Christian staion I listen to, and he also was tired of his friends trying to match him up with people he truly was not compatible with.

I never tried match. My Ex was on there. One day someone suggested that I do a search to see if he was on there, and sure enought I found him. He had his picture and everything. The garbage he said on there about hims elf mad eme sick. Said that he was an old-fashined romantic guy at ehart who was looking for a lady to spoil. Huh?
Needless to say, after seeing his picture and reading his lies on there, I decided to stay far from match.com.

I am truly an Eharmony success story, and I have met others.

I talked to one lady at church recently who has not been as successful, yet. When she first went on Eharmony a while ago,and filled out the questionaire, she got an email from them saying "we apprecaite your interest, but we believe that you may not be emotionally ready to date yet. Please contact us again later."
She said that looking back now, she realizes they were right. She was severly depressed at the time, and not ready to date. Apparnalty that came out in the way she answered the questionaire. I thought that was interesting. She went to counseling for a year or so, got herself healthier, then tried again. She is now registered wtih Eharmony and communicating with a couple of men. I pray that she continues to be healthy,and that she meets someone she can build a friendship with. God willing, I pray that she finds love.

I would recommend Eharmony to anyone.

Very cool. Thanks for sharing! Good luck to ya'll!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I know two couples who have married as a result of meeting on eHarmony. One couple is in their 20's and the other in their 50's. It's another way of meeting people, that's all. It's not good or bad, it just is. We make it what we want it to be.

WOF5~~

Your story is refreshing and encouragable!
I remember you from some time ago, as we share the same divorce date, and had been married the same amount of time.
I had no idea you had gotten married, CONGRATULATIONS!

I also subscribed to eharmony, but I have to say, I'm a little disheartened with it.
I don't seem to get many matches, so right now I don't have a good impression of the site. I widened my range to the whole US, I think I got 6 matches. I found it a little strange that there were only 6 in the US that I'm compatible with.

I'm happy for you and I wish you and your new husband all the best.

Karona

Congrats WOF5!!

I am with you Karona...the same happened to me. I have recently quit paying for any of the sites as I am finding that MOST (not all) men are either:

a. just wanting a sex hook-up
b. want to date any and all women
c. not ready to seriously date as they say they are

I just don't have the willingness to deal with them right now.

I have wrote off the ones that have ticked me off for whatever reason and still talk to the small handful that I enjoy talking to.

Out of all the dating sites I do think eHarmony has the best potential for finding someone in my opinion...but maybe just not for me.

And can I ask...do you find that men have a hang up about long distance relationships? I'm talking like less than 2 hours away.

Take care
Alluring

Aluring~~

"And can I ask...do you find that men have a hang up about long distance relationships? I'm talking like less than 2 hours away."

If you're asking me??
I have not even gotten that close to find out this answer.

The funny thing I found out was honesty can kill contact.
There was one guy in particular that sent me general questions, he was from TN. He seemed nice enough, so I responded.
We got all the way to the 3 questions. I answered them, but apparently I gave the wrong answer, because after that, distance was an issue!

But in all honesty, distance is an issue for me. I would have no desire to be in a long distance relationship. I have a friend that has a joke with me, that more than a city block is too far.
Maybe an hour would be okay, but if I had my pick, I would rather he be closer than not.

Good luck Alluring!

Karona

I agree I'd rather have "him" down the block too but so far that's not working...LOL...well nothing is working actually...LOL

It just gets to frustrating at times. I'm feeling now like it's a waste of energy. If it happens it happens...if it doesn't it doesn't...

Thanks for responding!!

Good Luck to you also!!

Alluring

Can we say $3 gas?

Seriously though, I try to keep it within an hours drive. More than that and it starts getting difficult. You don't get together as often as you might like and when you do, you tend to stay together longer than you should.

I'm not saying that it can't work, but its an added complication to my already complicated life.

Oh so true BG!!! Gas is ridiculous, but, that's not to say there couldn't be someone worth the price of gas! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

"If it happens it happens...if it doesn't it doesn't..."

Alluring, if you feel this way, than you better be prepared. So I've heard, once you feel this way, that's when "the" person comes into your life!!

Karona!

I think the long distance thing with eharmony is that they don't have as many paid subscribers in certain areas, so to get a true "match" then you will need to look beyond your geographic area.
I didn't have luck on E even though I live within an hour of THE largest city (or three hours with traffic). So given that population, wouldn't you think I'd have a chance. A 300 mile range for me get about 4 major US cities, and a 75 mile range gets 2 major cities - but still no match.

When gas prices become that much of an issue "he's just not that into you".

I LOVE THIS!!!! Thank you for the giggle!!!


Karona..I'll let you know should the unforseen happen...LOL

Thanks!!!
Alluring

I liked it too Newly!!

Yes Alluring, please let us know!
I'm right there with ya!

K!

Wow! Lots of responses here.

I live just outside of Portland Oregon, so its a fairly large city, but not the biggest. My husband lived about an hour from me. After we got married, he moved into my house, since I have a son who will be graduating from high school soon, and I don't want to move him until after that.

My other matches were within about a 1 hour drive. I did have a few bad experiences. One guy contacted me like crazy, until I let him view my picture, and then he said "I don't think we have much in common". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />He didn't deserve me!

A couple of others made it to the final stage of communication and then discontinued contact without giving a reason. I was hurt at the time, and didn't understand why. Now I totally understand why - it was because I needed to wait until I met the man I am married to now! I am so glad that I was not dating anyone else when I got this match. Anyone else would have been ok, and I would have dated them for awhile, but not as perfect as the man I am married to now.

Anyway, I wanted to share a funny story with you all.

My H said that one of his first matches was a lady by the name of "Carol" who lived in a city about 30 minutes from him, and worked for one of the big high tech companies here. He thought "thats funny, I know a "Carol" who works there.......When he got to the point where he could see her picture, he realized that he knew her! She goes to our same church. That is really odd, because this is a very small church. It is a brand new church plant, of about 50 people. As soon as he saw her picture he called her and said "Uh, I don't think it would be a good idea for us to date" and she agreed.
I see her every Sunday and think that they would not have been a good match. So not all of his matches were perfect.
I am sure her profile was similar to his - same religious beliefs, they both have children but don't plan to have more, neither of them drinks or swears. Both are in high tech.
But she is very organized, very nit-picky, and he is very casual.

Hang in there everbody. Your future mate just isn't ready yet.

Are you all getting out there and joining groups, volunteering, singing in the church choir, taking classes, etc..Basically, getting out and meeting people? You may take a class that has 6 people who are all married, and you think "Not gonna meet someone here" but then, it could turn out that one of them has a brother who is single.....

Thanks for the words of encouragement!! I know I need it right now!!

Hugs!
Alluring

I had heard that Eharmony often matches people from great distances. So I signed up for "It's Just Lunch". so far I love it. I have already been matched with 2 men. They set up the date for you, so it is like a blind date, but so far it's been great. It has allowed me to practice my rusty social dating skills. They interview you before you can start. They ask certain questions and then match you accordingly. The men I have met have all been from the area, about an 1 hour away at most. It was expensive, but I think that takes a lot of the guys just looking for sex out of it. I hope so anyway. Time will tell. I think most major cities have It's Just Lunch. I live about an hour out of the city, but I find that most of the men do too.

Not that I've used it, but Eharmony is probably the best
"mature" dating site. Not mature in age or anything, but the place to meet serious people looking for a serious relationship.
All the rest, my God, you read people's profiles, and you wonder how these people remember to breathe...

The eharmony questionaire is so long that it would deter some of the jerks. Some, not all.

eharmony's questionaire doesn't have the right questions or the right answers to them. I thought it rather silly and it didn't come anywhere near accurately describing my personality. It's a gimmick.

I just wanted you to read Faithinme's story. She tried to save her marriage with a GREAT Plan A, and a good Plan B. But her husband continued on without her.

Here is her update -

Do tell us more if you're inclined. How did you meet him? What does he do? Does he have kids? Was it scary at first or was it Bingo. You knew he was the one?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Well, I met him on Match.com of all places. A girlfriend and I had a bit too much wine one night and were playing around on the computer. To tell you the truth, I wasn't even sure what I wrote in my bio the next morning!

When I read it, I just laughed. I had written the normal "I enjoy the outdoors and getting to know new people" blah blah blah. I wrote that I enjoyed playing golf but usually ended up as the entertainment because I'm so bad at it. But I had also written, "I have not one, not two, but THREE kids."

I figured, no one's going to answer this! Well, much to my surprise, I had quite a few responses. It did my self-esteem fine, but I didn't really respond to anything because I wasn't really comfortable and felt funny.

Then I got Steve's email. His picture was cute...and he included a picture of his puppy...a beagle. Not fair and I later learned it was part of his internet dating lure. He looked really young but his email wasn't full of all the normal crap.

He just asked me how bad I was at golf.

I answered that one. Turns out that he lives on a golf course but I didn't find that out for a couple of weeks! From that night on we emailed back and forth for awhile. Then he gave me is IM address and we did that for awhile.

After I did an internet background check on him, I gave him my phone number.

He was the only person I ever talked to from Match.com. I knew after our first date (which I was horribly sick on, by the way) that I liked him. I knew after a few dates that I really liked him. It wasn't long before I knew I was falling in love.

He mentioned marriage though and I had a full blown anxiety attack while driving down the freeway.

Obviously, I got over that one.

Steve just turned 30 in August, one day before my 33rd birthday. He doesn't have any children and is divorced.

I swore I would never again date, let alone marry, a younger man. I shouldn't swear.

I have rarely met someone with such a level head and true, honest to goodness sense of right and wrong. He doesn't open up to many people, but he opened his heart, home and self to me...and my children. That one surprised me. I felt fairly confident I could find someone to love and who would love me. But to find someone who would open themselves so completely and lovingly to 3 kids? I wasn't so sure about that.