What happens if my wife suspects I know she has cheated on me, and stops or slows communications down with the other person because she suspects I know? I can hardly stand to look at her, so she has to know there's something wrong.

The other thing, is my health... I'm forcing myself to eat, but I can hardly down one meal a day without feeling nausiated and I have no appetite. I've dropped about 10 pounds in a 2 to 3 week period. Which is a good thing, but I am forcing myself to eat once every 24 hours. Even then it's just an after thought. Last night I slept for 3 to 4 hours. I couldn't stop thinking about what I'm going to do when or if she's gone, etc. It will be lonely being in a 3 bedroom house by myself. But I can't keep her around just because I'll feel lonely.

Thursday is so close, yet so far away for my greatly anticipated -- alone-- counseling appointment, because she doesn't think anything is wrong with sharing her body with a complete stranger on a web cam. I have 5 videos of her that she's sent him, but that doesn't include all the times of just live webcam useage. Sorry, I have to focus on the bad to give myself a pinch of reality to let me know that severing my emotional ties to her must be done if I am to heal from this.

I could not concentrate or focus on work. I kept thinking how I'm going to tell her, what if she doesn't take her stuff, what if she just runs off to the car and drives off to never come back again for anything. What about the bills if she doesn't take any of them?

so many questions and no answers in my mind! Yet, despite all the termoil, I feel numb. maybe it's a coping mechanism. So I don't feel anything until I can appropriately deal with it. I don't know. I feel like I should cry, but I can't.

I just want to thank everyone that have read my posts and for all of their support. Any words of encouragement let me know their's hope out there for a 28 year old guy that may be wise beyond his years or more foolish than the world's dumbest fool.... I love God, and his strength has allowed me endure much. May it not fail now, though I have failed him many times over.

Today is Thursday, I hope your counselor can be helpful to you. Maybe he can clear things up so that you can see that your wife really IS doing nothing wrong. That having web-cam sex is normal, healthy and not at all cheating.

[sarcasm drips here]

Seriously, I remember the Infidelity Diet. Stomach and throat all in knots, can't chew or swallow or even want to eat. Forcing yourself to sip soup, not able to finish a bowl.

You feel like you're not even alive. Except that the pain is ripping you apart.

Your faith will help you. Cling to it, and pray. Ask God to help you get through this hardest time. Ask Him to take care of you so that you can follow His plan for your life.

Thank you for the sarcams, It really, sums up how real this is for me. I sometimes wonder, maybe I"m overreacting, maybe I should let it go, and it's things like this that pinch me and make me wake up and really smell the crap that lays making our marriage reek and lay dead.

I'm scared the counselor will still ask me to try to save my marriage, but I think after a little time, they'll realize as I am continuing to come to realize, that there's nothing left to save, just the pain wrecked upon my heart to overcome.

Thank you for your kind words, I'm glad I found this site and I will feel so much better after I confront my wife.

If she doesn't leave tonight I may have to get hotel room. But, I'm pretty sure she will, she will take no responsability for anything. But, I have to plan for the off chance she chooses to stay for no reason.