Maybe writing out my history with my H will help me get out of this mess I have created.

We met while I was dating one of his friends. The guy was a total jerk but I was a lonely single mom and loved the fun of going out with his friends. Turns out this guy was answering personal ads and cheating on me constantly. That is how I believe I got the herpes that was eventually passed on to my DS. I fell for my WH while I was dating this guy. Eventually as I was on the verge of moving in with the friend I broke it off to date my WH. Ok, bad start right there. Apparently my WH had an established pattern of coveting other people's g/f's.

WH moved in with me and older DS a couple months later. As soon as he moved in the patterns emerged. WH had this need to "help" or "rescue" others. Back then it was a couple of elderly ladies. One was very sweet and in fact I wear the wedding band she gave us. I loved her very much. The other one was a crabby, demanding woman that had trouble keeping anyone in her life including her own son. My WH would allow her to make him late for work and took time away from us. That was the start of me nagging about his time away.

We got M'd two years later against my gut that we shouldn't. By then my DS was so attached and did not have a father in his life so I went ahead with the M. At the same time WH got a full time job with my Sfather. So the next thing to pull WH away from time at home was his job. As time went on he spent more and more time at work and of course I just nagged and yelled some more. He ran, I persued. Our pattern.

When our D was born 1 year 3 months later WH managed to be gone even more. On the days I asked him to pick up DD from daycare he would go to his mom's house so she would take care of DD.

more later...

{{{FF}}}