Today we had to go to the bank and sign some legal papers about our home. MY MIL and SIL were there as well. Its a long story nt of real impotance right now anyhow. Anyway we both had to be there at same time for it to be noterized.

We met at the bank and neither one of us said a word to each other. After we went in I said I would sign first so I could leave. As I was signing the paper I started crying and looked up at WH and said to him, " I hope OW is worth all of this that you have done to our family."
I then turned and left the bank....

So now did I do a big LB???? I am so upset right now, and angry.

Nothing wrong with expressing your hurt to him. Now, back to Plan B.

You will not be able to control your feelings at times. That is why Plan B will be very good for you.

Now don't lower your guard if he tries to contact you. After today, he may contact you just because he is feeling guilty and wants to convince you that he is not the bad guy.

Thank you believer I was so afraid I said something wrong...

I really have doubts he will contact me at all... I truly am beginning to think none of this bothers him....

Oh Honey!!!
There is no right or wrong about any of this crap,because none of this is supposed to happen. Husbands aren't supposed to leave for OW, and OW aren't supposed to move in with a married man, knowing that he is married and has children! None of that is ok. That is why there is no manual teaching us how to deal with all this stuff.

Do not beat yourself up. You spoke the truth. You said what was on your mind. You did not spit at him, or call him names. You didn't make disrespecful judgements.

Just let it go. I am sure that he was upset after you left, whether he showed it or not.

Would you please find a friend who is going to church on a regualr basis, and hook up with them. At the very least, you need to have that regualr Sunday morning worship to look forward to. It would also be good to have a casual, mid week service. I am not trying to push you - I just know what a blessing it was for me when I was going through this stuff. I was going to church Sundays and Wednesdays, and when I had a bad day I always knew that I had church to look forward to.

Be prepared - he is likely to try to contact you at this point, and you really need to be firm with him stating that you can not talk to him until he has severed all contact with OW.

Exactly!!! I want to prepare you for a couple of possiblites here, just so you won't be surprised if/when it happens.
1. He may try to contact you to remind yout hat he is not the bad guy. He may also become angry with you becuase his Mom was there when this happened, and she is likely mad at him right now, so he wants to put the blame on you. Something like "you ahve my own Mom mad at me! I am glad you are making me out to be the bad guy in all this!"

2. He may contact you to say "you need to move on, you just need to get over it"

3. He may even drop the old "I wish you would just find someone else and move on."

All of these statements are crap, all have been spoken by many WS's. So if he says anything like that, please guard your heart, don't let it sink in. Just agree with him. your right, thank you, goodbye. Some0thing like that. Don't even engage him in coversation. In your mind you can remember that this is all very predictable.

Hang in there.

hurting,

Quote:I really have doubts he will contact me at all... I truly am beginning to think none of this bothers him

As much as you don't want to hear this, a good Plan B will make you realize that you had a life before him and you can have a terrific life without him. It is up to you. Do you want to walk that path towards an exciting fulfilling life or do you want stay stuck in self pity.

I am not criticizing your attitude but trying to show you the incredible power that a PROPERLY run Plan B give you. Your kids are almost gone and you would have been facing that empty nest and it's repercussions in the near future anyway.

When is the last day that you did something for YOU. Guess what, you may have the opportunity to have thousands of those days in your future.

Accept the fact that you are completely and totally responsible for the rest of your life.

When you get past the fright that vista will open for you.

Be prepared, when you finally have him out of your life, that is often when the knockin' comes to your door.

Best of luck

If you must answer the phone... I find the conversation makes alot more sense with a WS if you just hold the phone upside down in your hand. If that feels to silly, it also helps to just start saying verbally "blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah" everytime the WS opens their mouth. It actually tends to make as much sense as what they are saying, and generally follows the exact same logic they use.

Hang in there. Sure you LB'd. But at least you delivered it from Love! Don't worry about it. Do you really think that statement means ANYTHING in the scheme of things? Of course it doesn't.

Hang in there.

Bless You!! This is SOOOOO true!! I'll have to honestly try this technique when/if I pick up the phone next time he calls...oh wait...I am in Plan B...no more freaking phone calls...gawd I hate the feeling afterwards...now I know why I don't drink either...hate the hangovers that contact causes.

Thank you all for your support..... This was not something I expected today. It caught me off guard.

((((Hurting))))



Nothing you said was inappropriate. Perhaps if you had said something like, "I hope you're happy ruining your family for that ambulating vagina", ...actually, that would also be the truth, and there is nothing wrong with the truth.

Are you feeling bad b/c MIL and SIL were there? If so, stop. That's their son/brother who is cheating on his wife and kids. They know the truth. They're adults. They do not need sugar-coating.

Continue your Plan B. And, good luck, God bless.

WomanofFaith and the others said it just right. You did fine. On with Plan B.

Hurting, there is nothing I could add , as all the above posters have said it all. All you did was show true emotion, no LB.
Do things for yourself, go to church, it is a peaceful place to find solitude and answers do come. As you move on with YOUR life in plan B, WH will wonder "what is my wife doing now, I wonder how she is doing", all these things will hopefully start eating at hime. The novelity of WH/OW's relationship will wear off.
Hang in there dear.