Here's the Plan B letter I really wanted to send (but didn't of course!): <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Dear WS,
First of all, there is nothing that I have done that would have made it ok for you to have an affair. If you weren't happy/satisfied/fullfilled/whatever you want to call it, you should have had the balls to come to me and try to work it out. The amount of pain that you personally caused to me by your betrayal was nearly overpowering.
Second, every single cheating spouse in the midst of an affair says one or all of the following:
"I love you, but I'm not IN love with you"
"I never loved you"
"I have met my soulmate"
"This divorce has nothing to do with her/him"
"I don't know what I want from life, but she/he gives it to me"
"It's effortless being with her/him, she/he understands me"
Third, get off the fence you're sitting on and choose where you want to be. Stop stringing both women along while you "sort yourself out" or "find yourself." Either recommit to your wife or get a divorce you sorry piece of sh*t. Less than 2% of affairs actually end up lasting longer than 6 months and even less last a year or more. Hard to build a lasting healthy relationship that started in the shadow of secrecy and lies.
You are a cake-eating son of a b**** that thinks that I will be around waiting for you when she's had enough. I'm done being your doormat pal. Thanks to you, I've found that I like not having you around. You create drama and hurt in my life and I don't want any of that - period.
When it finally hits you what a fantastic woman you screwed over and lost, don't come crying to me unless you are willing to lay it all out on the table and be TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY ACCOUNTABLE until I feel comfortable again. That means ditching that other woman for good and PROOVING to me that you are committed to the marriage. Since you work with her, that means finding a new job. If it means we have to move, then I'm willing. It means that you'll start showing me that you really want this by showing affection again, listening again, sharing again and being part of this family again.
Right now, I love you but I don't like you. I love the man who treated me with respect, who shared the dream, who took responsibility for his actions and trusted me. I don't love the disrespectful, thoughtless, self-loathing man you are today.
So, the time has come for you to make a choice. Is it going to be us and our marriage or not? Better decide soon because I'm not going to be patient forever. Your little girlfriend has nothing on me. I'm a strong, confident and beautiful woman with a huge capacity for forgiveness. It's up to you to decide if you can be the man I chose to marry.
Signed,
I was your soulmate too
Whaddya think? Too angry? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
