Its my DS (7) now (8) birthday and DD (4) tomorrow (5) birthday and we haven’t seen nor heard from WH since last Friday. I am inclined just to let WH be the a$s – DS hasn’t asked for him. But it is just killing me inside – every muscle in my body is tense – my jaw hurts from gritting my teeth all night and I catch myself doing it now.

I am tired – he (wh) just dumped everything on me. There are times when I feel so strong I can be a single mom with no support financially or emotionally from WH and there are other time where I just want to dig my self in the biggest hole and not come back.

Can someone help me turn a switch and get out of this rut.

I am so sorry you are going thru this. Years ago I was a single Mom and it is so hard. Now you know you must shine for your children. They will follow your example. Put some nice music on low and do thing with those children. Do not sit and wait for WH to return. Do things with the kids -have fun. Dance sing, bake,teach them how to cook. If he comes back to see you you want to shine. I know it is hard but try to set aside time for yourself and then indulge in a could cry. I know it is so tough. But those kids need to you for than anything. Hold your head up and be the great Mom you are.

{{tdr}} go have fun with your babies and celebrate! Your WH is the one missing out.

I am sorry you're having such a bad time.

Since you can't count on WH, all the more reason to figure out how to best take care of yourself.

Can you think of anyone you know that could help out? Find other moms in your situation and support each other?

I know when my boys were younger and I didn't think I was up to being a parent, all it usually took was one little smile from one of them, and then I would feel like I could move mountains.

I send you {{{{{{{{{{{{tdr}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Thank you

I really do feel much better. Somehow my munchins and I will get through this. I know I can count on you guys.

hugs to all

tdr

Of course the real problem is with your WH, but you can't really do anything about that. Don't take up for him, but don't run him down in front of the kids either. You need to concentrate on taking care of yourself and the kids.

I was a single mother for 7 years before my marriage. I sometimes think life was easier when I had a small child and worked full time while going to school. Take small steps and have faith in yourself. Try to find some trusted babysitters and get out and do things for yourself. You need some "me" time. When that is not possible, find things to do with your kids. When my DD was your daughter's age I began taking her to the ballet and plays. You can often find inexpensive local or children's productions and it seems more special that just going to a movie. My DD is now 16 and actually used her money from a summer job to buy tickets to a musical for the two of us next month.