Hello all!

It has been some time since I have visited the board. Most of the new people will not even know who I am.

I am soooooo hurting today. I have that tight in my stomach, can't breath, trying not to think about it too much so I do not BAWL, kinda pain today. There is no particular catalyst. No specific event. Not PMS. Not the anniversary date of my lost marriage, or D-Day or anything.

As I reached a emotional low today that I have not known for some time, I thought of you guys here at General Questions. You were my life line for almost a year as I went through the trials of the destruction of my marriage.

When I felt like dying. When I felt like killing. When I felt like laughing, bragging, confessing, professing, waxing on poetically, etc. You were here...and so it is here I find myself so many months later!

I am tired of being alone. I am exhausted of being the primary emotional and spiritual and physical support for my family. I feel likeI have the burdens of the world on my shoulders, and I cannot lift it anymore.

The spiritual among us would say, "Then give it up to God." I do. I ask Him to take care of us, and He does. I ask Him to help me forgive xwh, and He helps me humble myself and offer CONTINUAL forgiveness (since the hits KEEP ON COMING with the ex almost daily, and my forgiveness of him is a daily occurance). I ask Him to show me things about myself I can work on, to reveal things I need to know to be happier, better, etc. And God does. It has been a wild ride.

I am lonely. God's spiritual presence in my life has been real and welcome and important. But, even God conceeds that we need people.

I feel so terribly lonely. I have started to date...and all my experiences so far have been dismal. blech. Too weird (didn't realize it in our brief meeting pre-date). Head the size of a watermelon (no lie...seriously, I thought he was gonna tip over...this was someone I met online, and the pic was taken in a weird angle).

I am having zero needs met. People are too busy for my crap. My friends have families, significant others, etc. My single friends have TOO little responsibility, no kids, etc.

Anyway, I am hurting especially bad today. I just am getting to that "F" it stage...where, I am tired of being tired. Just wanna curl up in a ball and vegetate and cry for a year. World around me be damned.

Any support you could offer would be great. Thanks for letting me tap into this great group once again.

Dipi

Dipity - Good to hear from you again. Now don't exaggerate - his head wasn't REALLY the size of a watermelon, was it?

{{{DipiT}}}

Believer...you are ALWAYS the first to the scene of an about to burst broken hearted person.

<<<<<<<<<<<<Believer>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Tight squeeze to you!!

YES IT WAS. I am so not kidding. Average sized body...about 5'9". The head...seriously....HUGE. Like 4 of my heads. I am not kidding. Just a giant freakin dome. And, when he ate (we went out to lunch), his giant temples pulsated the whole time. Then, he had the giant head to say to me "Why did you choose to sit on that side of the booth?" At first, I did not get what he was talking about. Then he elaborated. "Because, you made me face this way, and that is the way the sun is shining in the restaurant." Now, mind you, the sun was NOT shining in his eyes. We were sitting in the last booth in the very back of the place. But, his side of the booth was facing the glass windows of the restaurant, some 100-200 feet away from where we were sitting. I am thinking, are you kidding. Besides...your giant HEAD is not casting enough of a shadow over our eyes to shield you from the sun???

BLECH.

sniff sniff

<<<<<<<<Faithful>>>>>>>>>>>

Right back at ya!

DipiT,

I for one, believe you. Believer is enjoying a nice foggy fantasy or two these days so she hasn't seen the MUTANTS that are out there!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Just teasing B!

Oh - and no offense to any that consider yourselves mutants. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

It's not so easy to explain to people that you really can't find a way to be NOT alone all of the time. Eventually friends go home, or we have to go home or the stores/libraries/pubs close or you just can't spend one more minute talking with that watermelon-headed guy!

But really, it's not his fault he has a watermelon for a head. I'm trying to imagine what could be worse than that. IS there anything worse than that? Maybe eggplant butt?

What are you doing later?

Sally

DipiT -

You made me snort my coke up my nose! Then it all blasted out. While you're here, you might wanna check out the After Divorce, Dating forum. There is a whole gang of people going through the same thing.

Hmmm...how about a Banana nose?

Later? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH laugh out loud! Do you want the short or extended version?

Changing out of my suit
Washing 2 loads of laundry
Sweeping/Mopping
Cooking (or something regular people call MICROWAVING) dinner
Vacuuming
Cleaning the toilets
Bathing my children
Putting them to bed
Pulling out and packing everyone's clothes, lunches, books, etc. for tomorrow
Probably messing around on my 'puter
Calapsing into my bed

All while swallowing down that knot in my throat...that is threatening to spill over into a full blown cry. Cuz I don't wanna anymore. The kids can't handle it. And my friends are tired of it.

What are you doing tonight?

DipiT - With a head that size, he probably has lots of brains. And you know the old saying, big head, big ____.

ego? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Okay, seriously, it takes kissing a lot of frogs before you find your prince. You didn't kiss him, did you?

Hmmn, your list sounds much, much better than mine. Alas, I've got no kids to bug! Booo hooo hoo. Woe. Yeah, heard that one all before so *ahem* moving on. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I've got a pot of soup on the stove. The real kind made from scratch!
I've got my mower charged so I will mow the lawn.
I'll take squirt for a walk.
Do even more laundry. The goal is to have no dirty laundry by 5pm tomorrow.
Will FOLD the laundry. I've got a small mountain on the dining table.
Will wash sofa. It's gross.
Wash Perp. He's gross.
Give the dogs their supper.
Vacuuming, floor washing and dusting are on the list. If they wait until tomorrow it'll be OK but I'd like to get half the floors done tonight.
I should go run a few miles. I'm getting lazy there.
Oh yeah - bathe Sally. Sally has been doing yardwork all day and peeeyew!

And sometime after bathing and eating - hmmn, tuna snadwiches here or tuna snadwiches at the pub? I'm seriously considering spending time working up a birthday fantasy a la believer. A beautiful man with dark eyes and a sympathetic soul surprises me with cake and champagne and washes dishes while I watch him wash dishes...................... sigh.

After that I'll probably play computer games on Yahoo. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Sal

Yuck! Grrrosss! Kissing watermelon-headed guy. YUCK!!! Didja? Was he all gross and juicy??

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Sal

HI DIPTI!!!

I am sorry you are feeling so sad today. It's no fun feeling lonley. I will not tell you to keep your chin up, you already know that you need to do that. All I can do is send you some hugs and let you know you are heard and cared about.

oh wait, and maybe make you laugh a bit... i was in a mtg all day today with the department. it was a workshop sort of thing. There was one person who was sitting with his back to me and at one point he got up to scoot his chair in.

I am trying to come up with the best words here...

The view i got of his backside was just NOT good. we are talking hairy and his pants were too low, which meant, yup you guessed it, i can't even say it. DISGUSTING!!!!

DipT, if you would like to go for coffee this weekend, let me know. If you don't still have my email, let me know and I'll post it temporarily.

I know you've got the kids, but if you can get away for a bit, morning, afternoon or evening, just let me know and I'll be able to make it.

((((DipT)))

You guys are all sooooo sweet.

I did not, I repeat, did NOT, kiss big head (sorry that sounded so x rated).

I went on another date the other day...guy was toooooooooo 80's. Now, do not get me wrong, I lived it up with the best of them in the 80s, but, dude, the 80's are done...time to live in the NOW. He was just BARELY missing the mullet.

And as far as frogs and kissing...maybe that is what I should do...go to the pet store and buy a frog!!!!

Sally...wanna trade. I have always wanted a dog...even a stinky one.

OK OK...I am just kidding. I would never trade my kids...now, at dinner tonight, I felt otherwise about the little one. We decided to go out to dinner (which is Mommy's SECOND favorite way to cook...that is, to ORDER) and she was just MESSING with me the whole time. Kicking the table, fighting with her brother, whining about the food, etc. I was seriously considering some sort of "TAKE HER PLEASE...I WILL PAY YOU" type of trade...but of course, it was passing.

Aislinn...hey girl. How the heck are ya???? Hanging in there, I hope. I would love to get together with you somehow. Email me at serenedipiT@yahoo.com

Thanks all...I mean it. Now, off to laundry. Blech.

Sorry we are laughing so much at you. But I think we have all been there, done that. I had a first date with a guy who didn't have a mellon-head, but got arrested. We went out for dinner, and had a nice time. We were on the way home, when the police stopped us. He had a headlight out. But it turned out that he had a warrant out for his arrest!

The cops hauled him off, and I was stuck with his car. So I drove it home, and much later, after they took him to San Francisco to court, he came back and got his car.

Can you believe he asked me out for a second date? I told him that once was enough.

lol, too funny, believer. You guys are all scarin' me!!!


DipT, I've got your email if you want to delete it.

Ok. Believer, you so win. Hands down. No contest. You get the award.

I have two funny college dating stories.

Story one:
My friend, a frat boy, sets me up with one of his frat boy buddies. The date does not have a car, so I begrudingly agree to drive. I pick him up and we head to chilis (we had plans for dinner and a movie). We get to the restaurant, and he goes on and on about how broke he is, how he works 3 jobs to be able to live, etc. So, I feel bad and order a salad and some water. He goes on to order an appetizer, salad, entree, and extra side, beer, etc. EATS HIS [censored] OFF! He pays the tab, and we go to the movies. We get to the theater, and he discovers he does not have any cash. This was when movies were only cash (no debit/credit cards for payment). So I go to an ATM and get cash out. We watch two hours of an AWFUL movie (I think it was total recall with ARNOLD). I am so anxious to get outta there, that I am practically SPEEDING to his apartment. I am pulling into his complex when he screams "OH NO...DUCK!" So, I stop and duck. After a few moments, nothing happens. I look up, and there are three girls standing by his apartment. He says "That is my girlfriend." I sit up straight, pull right up to where they are standing, and yell "GET THE [f-bomb here] OUT OF MY CAR." He gets out sheepishly right in front of the chics, and I pull away...not even watching to see what happened to him after that, and frankly, I did not care.

Story two:
Dating A very well to do boy, whose family was loaded, etc. He was pre-med at a well respected private school in Florida, and I decided I could be stepford girlfriend, in the hopes that one day I would be stepford wife. This is one of the most hilarious parts of the story, because, that is SOOOOOOOO not me. He played indoor soccer at that time (played outdoor soccer too, but was active in an indoor league at the time). I would get all dolled up, in my gap and espirit clothes, my hair all coiffed, my makeup perfect, my nails manicured, with my proper attitudes, and proper language (I have been known in my real persona to belch a time or two, and curse like a sailor, but not with this boy). I would make him homemade brownies (which makes me TOTALLY laugh now...as I LOATHE cooking). But anyway, I would show up, act like a prissy beeeach, and cheer for him at his games. He spends practically the whole Holiday break with me, and then, tells me he has to go back to school early due to soccer practice (the day before New Year's Eve).

My dad ends up getting tickets to the Outback Bowl Football game in Florida. I decide to go to the game with my Dad and little brother, because, basically had nothing else to do on News Year Day.

Well, who sits behind me in the stands of over 85,000 people in the old Tampa Bay stadium?????????

None other but well to do, pre-med boy and his DATE.

I turned around and said "Well, hello Will!" He turned white, I turned around, and spent the rest of the game mortified. Mortified that a.) He was sitting behind me with some other chic. b.) That he saw me WITHOUT all my coiffing, gap clothes, and perfect makeup. c.)That I was there with my dad and 13 year old brother.

I am seeing a pattern in my life.

High School boyfriend cheated on me too. After 3 years with him, with some skanky ho at the grocery store that gave him herpes (poetic justice if you ask me).

Blech.

HaHa. The perils of the dating world.

Well, I have another one. At work, I met a guy and we were great friends for several years. I mean this guy was my soulmate. He knew how I felt about everything, and we even finished each others sentences. I have NEVER met a man who understood me like this guy did.

He had been married before for 10 years, but was divorced with a son.

Can you guess what the problem was???????????????????????