I finally have gotten an appointment for IC. I have never been to a counselor before and I am not sure what to expect. Can anyone give me nay insgiht to this. I did request a counslor that was pro-marriage. I sure don't want one who will try and talk me into divorcing my WH. I am trying to hard to get my marriage back. even though WH is confused and not sure what he wants yet.

My first appointment is next thursday. Any questions I should ask the counselor?

hurting...
I am glad to hear you are seeing an IC. It helped me...

I have just started seeing my IC four month ago, never thought I would want to but since H left it has been helpful.

Once you start talking you will get a feel for him/her and know if he/she is a person you feel comfortable talking to. ICs have different styles. My friend sees someone who basically does not say anything, my friends talks the whole time or the session is over. I would not like that at all.

I talk and my IC listens and then he kind of summarizes what I have said with an insight into the whole issues. He sais what he hears me say and I reflect on it...He does not try to convince me to do something...he always says "I would like this for you..." he suggest what I may want to think about and work on...I take what he says seriously because I don't feel pressured that it is his way or the highway...

So, at the end it is what works for you...I think once you talk a bit you will get a feel for the person...

I wish you good luck...
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Daisy

This is good news for you!
The first appointment is usually just the chance to get to know each other. The counselor will ask you for your story, and you will blubber and ramble on from beginning to end! You have all ready shared your story with so many people here, that you should not have any trouble relaying it again.
Be very open, very honest. Don't hold anything back. Tell the IC what books you have been reading.
Also - on a slightly negative note - do not be too discouraged if it doesn't go well the first time. I remember the first IC I saw was very negative. I left there feeling even worse! But I decided to find another one, and try again. The second one went much better.

I am happy for you,this is a step in the right direction for you.

I hope it will help. I just can't do this alone anymore. I can't stop thinking about it and its killing me inside.

I just need to be able to get stronger so I can handle whatever happens. I need to be able to handle WH staying away for ever if that is what he chooses to do. And on the other hand I need to be stronger in case he does come home so I can handle all of that ...

I wish I had done this 1 1/2 yrs ago when I started on my downward spiral and maybe I would not be sitting here today going through this. Hindsight as they say is 20/20.

WH tried to get me to go 1 1/2 yrs ago and I would not listen. He should have tried harder.

Should he be told I am starting counseling? At least then he would know I am trying to make things better for me. I'm just not sure if he needs to know or not.