You disappeared - just wondering and worrying about you!

NTL

NTL,
You got lost.
Any comments on your "poll"?

Apparently so, Chris... I have been deserted it seems.

BTW, I picked my user name when I was lurking because my WH came to this forum first, and was on the fence and posting as Lost71. Trying to think of my name, I didn't want to be Mrs. Lost as I had almost filed for D, and he was SO lost, and it occurred to me that compared to him, I was NotTooLost... but now in hindsight it has me thinking as I continue with this user name, does it come across like I think I have all the answers? Certainly NOT the impression I'm trying to give! (Unless that answer I give is try God, in which case I DO think I have the answer! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> )

Anyway, the poll was for a friend going through some junk, and I think it provoked some interesting discussion. As my first poll, I see that I wasn't clear that I meant to say ALL of this was in the context of the BS's QUESTIONS, other than answer #5 I didn't mean any of it should just be volunteered all the time.

But overall, I liked the discussion of what to tell and what not to tell. It validated that when my H withheld details, there are two opinions on that with strong feelings behind them...

Sorry hun - life has been crazy as you are well aware of. It was hard for me reading and thinking about it everyday, that I needed to take a break from "My So Called Life."

Your last post really had me thinking and talking with my husband. I told him that I posted and he read all my posts. I think he could finally see what I was really feeling and all the questions and doubts I still had.

Then God did something so amazing - yet scary at the same time. On September 5th, I found out I was pregnant. Perfect timing, I know. For the past several weeks, we have been in a state of shock. I mean we really thought we were on the brink of a divorce. We love each other, but we were so unsure if we were supposed to be together. I guess God had a bigger plan. We still have difficult days, and I still worry, but I think my fears are fading slowly. I was so embarrased when I told my mom. I mean, you are not supposed to have a family when you think your marriage is falling apart. This little gift from God was a complete suprise.

So, that's the reason I have seemingly disappeared for a while. My mixed up life got another good shaking!

How is everything going with you? I really appreciate your thoughts and prayers. I thank God that I found someone to share my story with!

Sorry it took so long to get back in touch!

Thanks!

OMG, congratulations!

<doing the happy dance>

jealous doesnt even begin to describe it!

HEY, you were lost but now you're found!!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS on the pregnancy!!! Yes, the timing might seem a little weird, but God's trying to tell you something here obviously.

I know I gave you guys a lot to chew on at one time, I started to worry that it was too much at once.

We are doing well, school's started for our DDs, and it's keeping us so busy.
YOU and your H are in my prayers.

Oh, and I just reread our old thread - there was a lot to digest there!

1) How did you like Streams in the Desert?
2) Have you set up Marriage Counseling?
3) Did you finish Surviving an Affair and His Needs, Her Needs?
4) Is your H being completely honest, open, and forthcoming about his daily activities so that you have confidence going forward that the A is over?

NTL

I love Streams in the Desert. Each day is a new blessing.

We have not set up Marriage Counseling - I think my husband thinks we can do this on our own. I am not so sure sometimes.

We did read the Dr. Harley books and are trying to meet each others needs. He is really being wonderful lately. I just question his every action. I wonder if he is being nice because he wants to or because he thinks he has to. I don't want our marriage to be a burden on him. I want him to truly enjoy it - the way I thought we always did.

My H is very honest with me. We email throughout the day, talk at lunch, and he calls when he leaves from work. I trust the A is over, but it still bothers me that he works in the same place. He is looking for a new job, but I wish it would happen soon.

I am so scared. I hate that I am not more excited about being pregnant. Sometimes I wish I wasn't because then I could just leave all this behind. I love him with all my heart, but I can not stop thinking about what he did and I am still so angry. I know I must let go, but I do not know how.

I am glad to hear things are going well for you and your husband.

Thanks <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

MSCL,
You have a lot to go thru emotionally to heal from the affair, and the work has barely begun. I really don't like him still working there with her at all. That really needs to change ASAP, and he should be extremely agreeable to that - if he isn't I would question that...
I want you to be excited about your pregnancy, and I know God has His timing that is always right, but with the hormonal & physical ups & downs of pregnancy combined with the recovery from an A and the preparing to have a baby, and the uncertainty from just months ago, and the potential for him to start to feel trapped, I just really really think you two should get in some regular marital counseling.

So much better to do that when things are going well, and shore up the defenses so to speak, then to wait until things don't feel good and seek help after the fact. If you asked him to go, and set up the appointment, and he knew it was just to make things as good as they can be, not to hash & rehash all of his wrong-doings, would he go?

We counsel with Jennifer Chalmers thru MB, and she is very positive. We never focus with her on the past, who did what, how painful it all was, etc - we look to the future - what can we do to fix things and make this M the best it can be? I just recommend it for you guys right now really highly.

Please let me know how he feels about counseling lately?
NTL

MySoCalledLife, are you out there yet?

NTL