I am at a total loss as to what to do. My husband is in the military and stationed about 6 hours from home. We generally see each other every weekend. Well, I noticed when I would call him I could her the beeps from someone IMing him...when I would ask, "who are you talking to" he would say, "oh I was just shutting the computer down". I am way smarter than that. With my suspisions up, I snooped on his computer and found out he had another messenger name that I didn't know about. I was so hurt. I decided to try to bait him. I made myself a new messenger name and sent him an IM and sat back and waited. He took it, hook, line and sinker. I proceeded to get him to think he was having internet sex two times. He is even talking like he wants to meet me. I just don't know what to do. This came from nowhere. We spent a lot of time apart because he spent 18 months in Iraq. But things have seemed fine. I am scared to confront him about this "affair" on one hand, on the other, I just want to choke him! Is it an affair because it was with me? I think so because he is clueless its me. People keep telling me to leave him, but I still love him so much. I just am clueless at this point. Do you have any suggestions for me? Do I keep this "affair" going or do I end it and tell him who I am? I hope you can give me some good advice in this situation. I don't want a divorce. Thanks so much!

Leighdie, weekends are slow around here, and Just Found Out is not the busiest forum.

Copy/paste your post over on General Questions II, and your thread will receive more responses. Especially during the "working" week.

You'll get some really insightful input over there. Give it a try.

In the mean time read all you can about infidelity on this website, and get yourself a copy of "Surviving an Affair". Read it thoroughly, as if you were studying for an exam, and the help you get on these forums will make more sense to you.

Also, read other threads, and you will find that Wayward Spouses seem to operate out of a handbook, the themes of what they think, say and do are strikingly similar. Stay with these forums, and you'll get the help you are looking for.

Best wishes,
SD

Thanks so much...I did that and am looking into your other suggestions...God bless!

Leighdie,

I was your husband in the past. I found a hobby in chatting on the computer with women. I justified it as not cheating because I would never meet anyone in person off the internet. Just a new version of people watching (women with cams). To me it was just a type of people watching on steriods.

Again never meeeting anyone personally, and when my wife found out she freaked out. I paid no mind, until we almost D. Then the things that were important became evident.

Oh by the way, I was Military when this was happening, and did the same thig using an ID someone else had created.

I would recommend you see if he would really be willing to meet you. Otherwise you wil never know the truth and the level he is willing to betry your M.

If he does show up, you will want to remain calm, this will scare him more than anything else you could do.

Why is he stationed 6 hours away? Hopefully he is only TDY?

Thanks for your input. I think I am going to "take the bull by the horns" because this is eating me up probably more than it is him. I am loosing weight rapidly and started to smoke. Bad girl, I know but I needed some sort of stress reliever. God bless all of you and I will keep you posted as to what happens. Thanks again.