I filed for divorce on Wednesday. STBXH was still seeing OW and lying to me about it. I don't know why he was lying when we were discussing divorce anyway. He had asked me to wait until after Christmas to file, but I couldn't take it anymore. He is continuing to do things around here, and it pisses me off. He thinks that this is showing me that he cares for me. I think I would have seen that more if he could have managed to be faithful. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Wife30 - hello there. First of all, I want to thank you - I think if I remember correctly you were among many MBer who have Lost71 some 2x4s during his A. We owe you guys a lot.

Believe me, I know there is a day when it is just time to file. I know some here disagree, but it can work to bring your M back together. Or not.

But it is a continuing method to give him a reality check. It's a respectable boundary, that's how I see it.

If my H was seeing OW/OC on the side and lying about it instead of through POJA, that would be curtains for him with me as well.

This may be the crisis that he needs. I know you are probably very resolute about the D at this point. I was. And they read that in you, and that's not always a bad thing. When a woman's feelings for a man turn off like a switch, the man can feel that it's for real.

The switch, as you know from MB, can be turned back on with the right course of events/counseling/no LB/ EN etc. but you probably don't want to hear about that right now if you're like I was!

Excuse my ignorance about your situation, but have you been in Plan B?

I remember your H well and I'm so happy things are working out for you two.

No, I didn't really do Plan B. I was pregnant during the 2nd Dday. I felt it was easier for me to just get along w/ H during the pregnancy and immediately after my d's birth. I also thought the A. was over, so I was kind of waiting to see what would happen. When he really never wanted to discuss reconcilliation I felt there was still something going on, and now it's been confirmed.

I wouldn't say my feelings have been switched off, I wish that was possible for me.

I guess I'm just trying to maintain a friendly relationship w/ my STBXH for my d.

I will pray for you that things may still turn around and your WH will see what a mistake he is making.

NTL

{Wife30}
I'm so sorry to hear that your STBXH is still seeing OW <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Prayers for you and your DD ...

You are strong ... very strong and you will move forward with your DD ...
My DD was 4 months old when I found about the A and 6 months old when the D was final <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> and she is going to be 2 yrs next Sunday!
She's been my blessing and my strength ...

{hugs}

Wow How did you find out for sure did he tell you?

What is wrong with him , geesh did he want you to wait till after xmas so he could have money for xmas instead of spending it on a lawyer?

I am glad you are being strong and too bad for him to miss out on a great time with all your baby firsts that are going to creep up in the next few months.

NTL thanks for the prayers I could always use them!

Cordelia, I had a suspicion so I called OW. She confirmed it and then he did.

He said he wanted to wait until after Christmas because he loved me and couldn't imagine not having me in his life everyday. He wanted to see our daughter grow over the next few months. And for financial reasons.

Mily good to hear from you. I hope you're OK.

oh I am so sorry.
I want you to document your daughters firsts on video for you, and realize that you were there to enjoy it prob by yourself, then when you show it to him maybe just maybe he will realize what an idiot he is for missing these once in a lifetime moments.