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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1 |
Hi to everyone. This is my first post. I have been reading post here for a few days and have decided to post because of the mature and honest answers I see from you all.
Me and my husband met 10.5 years ago and married 6 months later. I was 19 and he was 21. For the first 1 1/2 years I never felt he was unfaithful. But after i had our first son I started feeling differently. Back then I had no clue what I should have done to find out. Well up until I had our 4th son, which was 3.5 years ago, I finially started to believe my husband was being faithful. But still had a very deep feeling that he hadn't always been. Even to this day I still feel something happened in the past. I have confronted him on this and he has promised me that he has never been unfaithful. That he has never even kissed another woman. But I can't believe him. Because of little lies he tells (ex. looking at other women and then denying it???) In the moments he tells me this I find some peace but then it goes away. I have done some pretty horrible things to see if he would confess if he had been unfaithful. I just don't know what else to do. I don't know what to believe and what not to believe. Sometimes I wonder if I want him to be guilty so I want think I am going crazy. Which is what he has told me in the past "its all in your head" thing. I need some help and advice. I don't believe he is unfaithful now. I just don't understand whats going on with me. perhaps if i tell of my story i could get some outside advice. And hopefully find some peace.
I don't no where to start. Its been so long with no ending of my feelings. MAybe someone can help me get started with asking questions so I want type all of my 10.5 year relationship problems.
Please be patient with me. I have some deep issues and I just have to have someone who will listen and help me anyway they can.
I feel like I am dieing inside. Is it real? I need to know the truth.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Dear Seeking,
Welcome to MB. I hope your hunch is unfounded. Either way, the best thing to do w/b to get to some good counseling. Before that, please read His Needs/Her Needs. This book will start you on the road of improving the communication with your H.
Please take a look at the concepts section above and then call Steve H @ MB to help you 1st and then your H. Let Steve decide the best recovery path for you and your M.
all the best,
L.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
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