Thanks Suzet, ww scheduled a meeting with a paralegal Thursday at 4:30. ww told me this morning she couldn't sleep last night was up until 2 am. Normally in bed at 8pm. I slept like a log, guess i'm just numb to it now. I've done the 180. WW has not told her family or DS12 or anyone that I know of about the D. I've never seen so much money being spent on lotions, pills and books on improving her looks. She's going all out. I can almost predict a crash and burn relationship in her future. Hate to see it for her. I'm just going to love and be there for DS12 as much as I can.

Thanks for your support.

FL

FogLight,
I am very sorry that you find yourself in this situation. I too am going through a divorce. I was able to find out about my STBX's affair, not that it did me any good, but at least I knew what I was dealing with. I am with the others on this thread and suspect that your W is in fact a WW.
This whole "No fault" thing stinks. It is the case here in TX as well. Its like the vows dont mean a thing and no matter what someone does to violate the contract, they can get half of everything. I am trying not to worry about that so much now. Even with the impending proceeding, I harken back to the scripture that says, "I provide even for the sparrows of the earth. Are you not greater in my eyes?" So, I take great comfort in that knowing that I will be okay. Our STBX's are to be pitied. Even though they dont want it or deserve it. We cant keep them from themselves. They, like all humans, are creatures of free will. If we make the choice to embrace the fundamentals of relationships as laid out by the Harley's, we can not only survive these hard times, we can actually come out better people and better partners in the future. I already feel like God has used this evil in my life for good. After all, isnt that what it is about? God cant eliminate evil, since he didnt create it, but he sure can turn it around for his will. All we have to do it submit. There is tremendous power in submission to Him. I will keep you in my prayers.

WCNT

Thanks WCNT,

The signs sure point to another player, just has not surfaced yet. Time will tell though. She has learned from her mistakes last time and is better at hidding them this time.

I seem to have grown a little thicker skin, it just does not hurt like it did last time. I really pitty her because I know this fantasy she has will be short lived. I feel so bad for DS12, doesn't know yet. He is the one that's really going to suffer.

Thank you for your prayers,

FL

FL,
I totally understand your concern for DS12, but I will say to you that you can be the source of strength that will pull him through this. You can be the example for him that leads him to the light through this darkness. I know you are capable.

WCNT

WCNT, you are such a great example of someone who have made it through and have become a stronger person in spite of your circumstances and a marriage which failed because of your W’s actions…and I know FogLight can do the same. He just need moral support and guidance from experienced members like you… People who have been there. Thanks for responding to my request and posting to him.

God bless you as you grow in your faith and continue to help others. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Suzet

Thanks Friends, your support is priceless. My head is up and I am moving forward. The 180 is in full effect, I read it every day several times just so I won't forget.

FL

Keep it up friend! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> It sound if you do want to first give your M a shot and see how it goes (by practising the divorce buster guidelines) before you will go through with the divorce. Am I correct? And did you start to recognise some changes/improvement in you W since you've started to implement the 180 degree?

Well the 180 is a last resort but, she's still full steam ahead. We will meet with the paralegel today to get the paper work started. For her there is no turning back. No change on her part really.

FL

Too sad...but I'm still praying for your situation FL.

Blessings,
Suzet

Update: Paperwork has begun, just a few more details and will be mailed to court. Paralegal said will take up to 2 months until d is final. So we will still be living together until d is final.

Question? Any special tactics besides the 180 that I could employ to turn her around?

I'm open to anything guys.

FL

Update: Gave W final information to forward to paralegal, Friday, but have not heard another word about it from w or have seen anything in the mail from paralegal. We will still have to both sign the documents before it's filed. W has worked late the last few nights, but has called to let me know she's going to be late. Didn't do that before the false recovery, but I'm no longer chasing, spying, or clinging on, just sticking with the 180. I seem to feel better about myself though. Just need to get out of the house and find something to do.

FL

Hello Friends,

Well W, called the paralegal to expidite the process. We are scheduled to go tomorrow at 5 to sign the final documents. Last night son was really wanting attention I gave it to him and when he was trying to get W's she snapped at him and made him mad. When she watches tv she doesn't want to be bothered. I told her he just wanted a little attention and that I stopped what I was doing to listen to him, she said "well I guess you'll get the father of the year award"

She was talking about another woman at work and that she always got plenty of men asking her out even though she is fat and has 4 kids. I said that sure but do they stay with her or just use her. She said probably just use her. I said you'll have no trouble getting dates, just wait and see.

I really have a lot of mixed feelings about her right now.

Not sure what her agenda is. She still mabye in contact with the om from her ea 6 months ago, not sure, but its very likely she is pursuing him.

FL

Hello freinds, some interesting change in w have taken place. I have been working on the Last Resort Technique for about 4 weeks now. We wrapped up the D paper work last Tuesday, I held it Wednesday and then gave it to her Thursday morning and asked her to file it. She didn't file it Thu or Fri. Friday after work she gave me some candy that I really enjoy?? She has been more curious about my whereabouts since I haven't been comming home on time and she has been more talkative. Friday night in bed, she touched me and one thing led to another. Same thing Sunday night. She has become a lot more intimate. There has been no relationship talk at all, I'm still in the LRT mode. She also didn't file Monday and she really has nothing keeping her from doing so. I feel she could be comming back to me? She has also made a few slight comments about the future and always says "we need to" or 'we should" Could the LRT have worked that fast?? I am really confused now and wonder if she has reconsidered the d? I wonder if I should test the water and ask her if she's reconsidered? or continue the LRT for a little while longer? Looks like there still is some hope left.

FL

Hi Friends, W has filed for divorce and as well I have made an offer on a home to live in. Crazy that we are still sleeping together and being intimate. I have not seen any evidence of another person involved this time. It should have surfaced by now I would have thought. D should be final by the end of the year.

FL