I have been married for 10 years and have a beautiful 7 year old daughter and a baby boy due in November. I thought we had a perfect marriage and life. I couldn't imagine risking our family for anything. All of our friends were envious of how solid our marriage and family was. I found out that my H had been having an A for about 2 or 3 months at the end of July. He moved out for a week, back in with us (under my request to make things work) for about 3 weeks, and then left again after telling me he just wasn't getting his feelings back. I believe the A was back on at this point. He is definately an alien to me right now. He has blamed his needs not being met and wanting to live for his unhappiness. He is staying with his parents who do not support the A at all. He has short visits with our daughter 2-3 times a week. I have been as forgiving and loving to him as I can. He admits that I am trying much harder than him and says that he's just a jerk. He has started staying out from his parents all night and doesn't tell anyone where he has been (by the way he is 35 years old).
I'm so frustrated with his personality changes. He waits on me to make the next step and then quickly jumps on it. I told him he should leave is he isn't getting his feelings back and is so depressed over the other woman. He quickly packed and left, but told everyone he would still be there if I hadn't ask him to leave. He will visit us and want to be intimant with me and then stay out all night the next night (I can only assume with the OW). I don't feel that I can go on this way, so I told him to set an appointment to see a lawyer about a D if he couldn't end the A. He quickly set the appointment, but again told people he was only doing what I had asked.
I can't imagine putting our marriage back together at this point. His feelings for me seem to have disolved after the discovery of the OW. He is in a fog and seems confussed about what he wants but is making NO effort to repair our marriage or end the A at this point. He is defensive when we discuss anything so I have been trying to let my daughter do all the talking when he calls or comes around. D is one of the worst things I can imagine happening, but I don't feel that I have any other alternatives. After exposing the A, he only seemed less determined to talk, go to counseling, or anything. After 2 months of this, my dedication and love for him are changing. Although I was hurt in the beginning, I still had so much love for him and all of our years together. He was so deceitful the last few months (without me knowing) that I wonder if I really ever new him.
Can anyone tell me what to do???????????????????????????

Age 34, WH 35, OD 7, OS due 11/05 OW 25, 3 children, left H 7/05 Married 10 years/together 16 years D day July 2005 Seperated/divorcing