Woke in my wh arms with a phone call -- OW needs to talk to WH -- both half asleep -- I give him the phone he answers and I here is unconscious and automatic response of - ofcourse baby and what sweetheart.

He made an appointment on Friday with the mortgage broker -- to start splitting our assets. That is where he went this morning. He said he is no longer going to argue with me on getting a D even though he does not want one. He thinks we should remain a partnership. I am almost letting him manipulate me into believing this but the guy has no job -- his ow has no job -- the house we own at this moment is gutted out and she lives there.

And here I am crying because I am scared to be a single mom and he doesn't love me any more-- He is giving up so easy -- not even trying.

If my kids did not need me -- I my just go ahead and sleep forever.

tdr

i don't know your story, but I didn't want to pass you by without a hug (((TDR)))

take a deep breath. I do not know your story either, however it sounds like a real bad day. Why were you sleeping in your WH's arm's if he is with OW? why would you hand him the phone and not just hang up? Why do you support him and let the OW live in your home? I am just confused here sorry. However you do indeed need a hug. (((TDR)))

Be strong.

Thank you Jean and KMEJ

I guess a simple answer to ur questions are "I'm a idiot"

My wh graces us with his presence a couple of days a week -- though he missed the kids birthdays last week he did show up to watch them yesterday and today for our GA Gov. imposed school holiday.

In his arms -- the two things that have kept my EN's in the positive with him is SF and affection. I know it is just confusing the matter but it feels so much better than being at odds.

With the OW not hanging up on her -- I have no idea -- I just have no idea -- When ever we speak it is usually always polite.

I just found out she was living in the house -- we have 2 homes one is supposed to be an investment property -- it looks like this will be their residence.

tdr

you are not an idiot- you are acting the same as I- you are in shock, and just trying to win your H back anyway you can. Have you considered plan B? That is what finally jolted my H back to reality. Your WH can NOT have both of you, and right now he is having what he wants from both of you. YOu are presently provideing him with money, someone to watch your kids, and some one to cuddle up with at night, WHY ON EARTH WOULD HE CHANGE ANYTHING?????????? HE HAS IT ALL while you are left holding the bag. If the OW is living in your investment property then she had best be paying rent, if she is not I think it is time for an eviction do you not? WHy are you being polite to a woman who is willingly and knowingly having an affair with a married man? Be strong for your kids, stand up for yourself, stop showing them you are a door matt!! (and for those who are wondering, yes I noticeing that this is the advice I need to heed as well....- so much easier when it is someone else.)

TDR,

I know how you feel about the SF thing.Everytime my WH came around before going into planb and actually 2 times since planb. I always seem to give in to the SF thing. It is one of his EN's as well....

Sometimes I felt like it was all I could offer at the time seeing how he was living with OW. Afterwards though I always felt bad because he always went back. I know his love is hidden deep inside and it has to be found.

Anyhow after I fell of the planb wagon 2 times, I have now mastered it for the last 19 days. So far so good, he has not even tried to contact. Scary yes it is but I am fairly sure it bothers him as well. Even better now he is gone back on the road so make contact very hard.

So I guess what I am trying to say is don't feel like an idiot for having SF with your husband, some may disagree with me but I feel it still left him the connection to want him to come home. IMHO

Ladies,

""So I guess what I am trying to say is don't feel like an idiot for having SF with your husband, some may disagree with me""

Please count me as one of the "some". Unless you are planAing your A$$ off, DO NOT give the smug low-life the satisfaction of waltzing into your bedroom, having his way with you, and then winkidy wink wink smiling all the way back to the OW and slipping it to her too!!

I see a self-esteem problem here and unfortunately you are the ones that have it. When it actually is your wayward husbands who should have the very low self-esteem...but NO, THEY THINK THEY ARE THE SUPER STUDS OF THE CITY!

You must find your "self" and rise up with the dignity you should be showing and tell them to take a long hike off a short pier.

And TDR, evict the tart out of that house. Become pro-active instead of hanging your head and singing the blues. YOU NEED TO GET ANGRY!!

I sure am!!

k

(((((((((tdr)))))))))

I understand your yearning, believe me, I've been there. You deserve so much better than this. It is attainable, fight for it. It can be better. You are strong.

God's peace