Hello everybody. I haven't posted in a while. I'll give a quick update & then would like your help in handling a situation I'm a little unsure of.

Been Plan A'ing. Had a talk with H a while back and asked him if he'd called or seen OW. He said no, and I believe him as I'd recently viewed the phone bill and have been able to account for 99% of his whereabouts this month. I asked him if I had his full participation in saving this marriage and he said yes. There have been a few LBs this week as I started a new job and with that comes the stress of leaving on time, managing kids, meals, cleaning, etc.

Anyway, the job is great. I'm going to be great at it and I was very selective while interviewing and I really feel like this place is where I should be. There's this guy you see...one of the ones who must always find something to compliment me on. Friday I stayed a little late to set up my desk and he stayed to help me. This was fine, until he complimented me on my earrings - pretty regular earrings at that. First red flag. Yesterday he complimented me on my socks - black socks with white stripes, again not deserving of compliment. Today it was my shoes. All this can be seen as "innocent", maybe he was just "raised that way" or something, hard to tell. I've raved about H & kids, I've got pictures of them all at my desk, today he came over once to invite me to smoke w/him (no secret that I don't smoke) and then to lunch with him. I declined both times.

Shall I pull him aside and let him know he's making me uncomfortable, and I want our relationship to remain as professional as possible? Do I do something really awful to make him hate me? Do I simply ignore him? What is the proper way to handle this? I am in NO POSITION to allow even the slightest error here...

I would let him know as nicely as possible that you are not interested. He is probably the office cheat. your new and no one will clue you in yet. If he persits then I would ask my boss for advice about him. If this doesn't work then be rude.

Julie,

The guy is on the prowl.

""Shall I pull him aside and let him know he's making me uncomfortable, and I want our relationship to remain as professional as possible?""

The next time he invites you to lunch or whatever let him know he is making you uncomfortable. Say "no thanks, and don't ask me anymore" (you moron!) You have a wonderful H and kids and love them very much. You don't believe in friendships with men.

Don't say "our relationship", know what I mean?

As for the compliments, you should just tell him to cut it out! Enough is enough..in a nice way of course.

k

Thanks. I guess this is kinda common sense, though I didn't want to go with my gut and "make waves" at the great new job! Dang! If he decides he likes my barette or something ridiculous tomorrow, I'll tell him to knock it off. Better to make myself very clear now, right? Though it kills me that I need to make myself clear...hello...wedding ring? Pictures?

Since he seems to like your clothes so much, why don't you ask him if he's a transvestite. That ought to shut him up.

Julie,

Is this guy your superior, or another office worker?

You are not making waves...and maybe you are concentrating on this too much and creating a mountain out of a mole hill.

The only thing you will show him and others is that you are a strong intelligent woman that won't put up with any petty juvinile crap.

Just do it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

k