My WH has been saying and doing all the right things. The A is over and he has emerged from the fog. He is ready to move on with our marriage and be happy. I am trying so hard but I am so terrified. I keep thinking that I am good looking and still young. I can't walk in a gas station without guys jumping to get the door or whistle at me, and I really like it. I have been told that I look about 10years younger than I am. I forgive him for the A but I'm still angry that he shut me out years earlier. The stress of the A on WH is apparent. He has really aged and was already overweight. I give him reassurance but I don't always believe it myself. He has gotten where he actually talks to me, but I still don't think he always listens to me. I hate my job. It's high stress and I resent the fact that I have to support WH financially so that he can be a teacher. I would really like to be able to take off next year because it will be my DD's senior year, but I know we can't afford it. I'm in such a *ichy mood today. I'm scared that I'll never be able to be happy or trust him completely. I love him and yet I resent that my love ties me to him. I cry and I pray and I struggle through each day. I'm so tired of taking care of everyone around me and denying myself. I can't remember what happiness even feels like.

I know that we still need to go to MC and that we have made great progress so far. I just feel like I need something from WH and I don't know what it is.

You need to tell him how you want something more than he is giving. It is hard onyou being the one who shoulders the burden. Does he apprectiate this? It is very tiring going thru all of this emotional stuff. The gift they gave us that keeps giving. UGH! It will get better in time. You are still early in R. I know how you feel many of us BS felt the same way. But it does get better . Now to help you feel better do something for yourself -pedicure, hair, nails, buy some new clothes something. Make it special just for you. Start WH on a diet. Take a deep breath and relax tonight OK?

I wish I could. I need to be working 10+ hour days until Oct 17 for a tax deadline (tax accountant) and then cross country state and homecoming (TX football!) is the next weekend. Somewhere in there I have to help DD get a dress and make a mum.

Can your H take her to look for a dress?? What is a mum?

DD has been looking some on her own but I don't let her drive too far. He may have to take her some but most guys (no offense) are not good at that sort of stuff.

Think corsage on steriods. A TEXAS Homecoming mum is a boquet of chrysantemum flowers about 6in to ft across with streamers from the bottom about 5ft long. Then lettering, cow bells, teddy bears, and other trinkets are hot glued on and worn by the girls to the football game. The noisier and gaudier the better. The guys usually buy their date's mum but my DD refuses to get a date for the dance. DD may just have to dig out last year's mum and touch it up.

Man, reading about mums makes me think of my own Texas high school days. I tried to scan in a picture of my giant garter that went all the way to the floor, but my scanner isn't working.

Oh please...don't even go there "mum" with me...I think the one that DD15 got last weekend for homecoming was as tall as her and weighed as much as her...it was very cute and sweet of her date (just a friend!!) mother to make it for her son to give.

I know many of the local florists and grocery stores sell them here. We did pick up the garter for her date at Kroger's...but it was too late to have his name put on it. We didn't know she was going to be getting a mum since it was her best guy friend taking her to the game. They opted out of the dance...just went to the game.

I always had the garters made at Michael's. But my senior year, my date's mom made my mum, and oh man was that thing heavy!