Mimi is it possible for me to email you ..... I really need to say something and i am not confortable postingit for all to see ..

Why not? It probably will help somebody here...

Tell me why not...

You probably went and did something.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

yeah I did ..... I don't know how to go about telling it all. I really messed up

I know what you did...

I don't blame you...

I did the same thing during PLAN B...

It probably did not set you back...

His responsiveness to you is a GOOD SIGN...

NOW TOTAL DARKNESSS....

Ok here is what happen.... He came over as I sai and I did tell him to leave, which he did.....
But then he called and wanted to take me out to eat before he left and I went.... Anyhow OW was waiting at home for him and he didn't seem to care.

So anyhow he didn't have to really leave until this morning. So he went to OW's and got what he needed for the raod his clothes and stuff... He was back here in 45 mins. it takes 15 mins to drive one way to her place.

Anyhow I am so ashamed I allowed this but he spent the night with me and he lied to OW and told her he was leaving lst night. So I was with him from 7:30 last night until 6:15 this morning when he left.....
I know I blew it big time and now probably have caused myself to go backwards in this..... But it felt so good and right.. I have not slept in his arms for months and I slept so good ...

OK now give me the 2x4's .. I screwed up big time

He was still talking about how confused h eis and how much he thinks about me and misses me..... I just didn't know what to say except that he needs to come home and work on us .....

I don't blame you at all for this...I understand...

I don't think it set you back that far...

I'll get back with you when I have more time...

It's a good sign that he's coming back....

Sounds like my H's pattern....

But really now TOTAL DARKNESS...

your right total darkness from here on in should not be to much of a problem with him gone ....

Now he surely will be missing you on the road....when you are dark...

Not bad...

You followed your gut....

How can we fault you for following your wifely instincts on this?

You know yourself that this means that the OW is failing to meet his needs....

I sure hope so ...... I hope I did the right thing ...

Something in me told me I needed to be the last person he saw when he left town ...... He kissed me before he left after I dropped him at his truck and then pulled up beside me and waved and smiled at me.....

I was feeling real good about it all, until I realized maybe I shot myself in the foot and caused a set back....

pssssssssst....Hurting,

I think you gave him so good lasting memories to take with him on the road!!!!

No. Really. I think it is good...

Remember my rendevous at my H's office?

IT WAS NOT JUST SEX......

Your H longed for those memories of YOU to take with HIM on his trip...

Now when he calls you...DO NOT TALK TO HIM....

Yesh actually Mimi I was reading that again today to make myself feel better..... Believe me i read your thread alot to just understand where I am in this....

I tell you what it was mind blowing for sure..... I do believe he was even shocked by it .... Oh when I dropped him off this morning I told him to be safe but I did not say I love you .... Was that a good idea? He told me to be good .... he didn't say I love you either ....

Don't worry I will not talk to him at all...... I am dark dark now ....

TYcsue for that, its exactlly what I needed to hear from people.... I was so afraid I messed up and maybe ruined everything ....

I am standing here in my shop doing my happy happy joy dance for you darling!!! WOO HOO!!! I'm behind you every step of the way...I'll keep saying my prayers for you!!

Lisa my friend ......

I hope I did the right thing...... I am praying so .

Its the first time I have actually had him agree to spending the night since he moved out with her.... I was shocked I really thought he would not do it .....I thought for sre he woould want to spend his last night in town with OW.

Actually whats even funnier is she didn't bowl last night just so she could be home wit him..... Heck all he did was leave the truck terminal come straight here and get his stuff and then went straight out to her and got his clothes and was gone from there....

I just hope someday soon he gets all his stuff from her place and does the right thing .....

You went with your heart and gut.

I'll continue to say a prayer that he comes out of the fog while out on the road...and that he brings himself home to you and your heart and home.

thank you Lisa that means a lot to me ..... I do feel it will happen sooner or later.....

I think last night was something meant to happen... Because believe me I was very unprepared for it.

We did talk a little bit while eating about us.. I did tell him that I have forgiven him already and thats the truth, I also reinforced the fact that I will not throw this up in his face but the one thing I said maybe I shouldn't have was that I understand his fears of things going back to how they were. I let him no that my fear was thsi .... " WH the one person in the world I trusted the most is you, you took my trust and betrayed me." So if I can put that fear aside to work on our marriage, why can't you put your fears aside? Because my fear greatly outways yours.

After saying this to him I expected anger and justification. I got none of those. He was not angry at all. I think he was dumbfounded actually.... He really could not say anything.... So I expected him to then go to OW and not stay but as we were leaving IHop he said I'll be back in 45 mins or so will you be here to meet me?

So I guess the talk we had did not upset him at all... Not saying any of it sunk in but at least no anger or justifying anymore....

Now its just a matter of time ...... To see which way this goes

One of my major lessons that I learned about my H throughout this whole scenario even up to this day is:

HIS ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN HIS WORDS....

Focus on what his actions have told you..will tell you....

You all do realize I am the one who asked him to stay the night? He did say do you think thats a wise idea? I told him it was up to him, either way I would be fine with it. I did give him an out....

Well he chose to stay so Iguess thats a good sign, right?

Man I hope I didn't mess up to bad..... I just wanted him to have something great to remember when he left..... I felt being with me instead of OW his last night in town would be good.... I wanted to be the last person he saw as he left not her......

I am not sure what they told me mimi..... Was it just for sex or was it because he wanted to be with me???? i am so confused now ..... I don't regret it at all , I feel since his actions were to be with me and not her that it means this is where he really wants to be .....

Of ocurse if it was just for sex I guess he could have left and went back to her or just left and slept in the truck .... I truly believe he was happy holding me all night he never moved away from me.