I just told my FWH that i forgive him. Not sure how i feel about that right now...no great epiphany but I am sure he is grateful to hear it.

I take that all back...in writing this he just e-mailed me back and i am in complete tears.

I LOVE MY HUSBAND

so excited to hear this - how long has it taken to forgive him? I have not as of yet. Almost but not yet.

I forgave him the day I told him that we would work on our M and not kick him out the door. BUT i couldn't seem to tell him this until this moment. (4months later)

I cant say that there is a great weight lifted off me yet, but I am appreciating him for all that he is and all that he is doing to rebuild us.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Happy for you!!!

I appreciate what mine is doiong but forgive yet. No not yet - it was so bad here in my home that I am not sure I can totally forgive. It involved a past abusive M I had had with a very abusive exH. Mine started to say things to me that he had said. Never hit me mind you, but scared me for far to long. I know he is sorry and feels bad about what he did and said. But it brought alot back to me and time will tell. My H is the only person in my life I learned to trust and love. Then he crushed me so bad -it is in my instinc to not trust people. So this is an uphill battle of the 10th degree for me. Actually it just proved to me that I shoudl never have changed my opions of people when I met him. It brought back alot of things said to me since birth that flooded back on me. It made me feel unworthy of anyones love or respect. Ahh well life! I am happy for you.

Thanks Mimi

Realtor I am sorry to hear about the mental anguish that you are and have gone thru. I have to say that my H has been exceptional in many areas and the A is the only wrong that he has done. (not to say that that was not an incredible blow and that i can't believe that i didn't walk out the door). His affair is not excusable but I do see why it happened and my part in not meeting his EN that she did. He is a great father (now that the fog is gone) and provides for our family so that i can stay home and take care of the children. His problem is that he was not a talker and didn't realize how to express to me what he was going through. He is really working at communicating and that is a part of him that i never thought i would see. So my forgiveness didn't come lightly but my situation makes it that it is easier to forgive him. i think that in reading some of the others stories i see how "good" i actually have it and that i need to stop punishing him but to give him kudos for all the work that he IS doing to rebuild. I can only hope that things will work out for you...dont give up...there are good people out there but even the good ones can make misstakes. It's how they reconcile those misstakes that makes them stand out from the others. Thanks for your response.

~LT