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My former neighbor is now single and I'm wondering how to approach the subject of going out just the two of us with no kids...he has a son 5 and a daughter 9 and I have two a son 14 and a daughter 8 (our daughters are best friends). We have done things as a group but not intentionally...like running into one another at the County Fair and spending the day walking around together and letting the girls ride the rides together. I helped him with his daughters birthday party as it was held close to my house.
What do you think? Should I wait to see if he makes a move? Should I make the move myself? Should it be a mute subject and not even go there ever?
Me, 43
DS18, DD12
Divorce final May 10, 2007
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My former neighbor is now single "now single" as in divorced in the past few days, or out of a longterm relationship, or what? In other words, do you think he is ready for dating? AGG
Last edited by AGoodGuy; 09/28/05 07:24 PM.
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recently out of long term relationship...married once a long long time ago.
I think he's ready for dating on a casual basis.
Me, 43
DS18, DD12
Divorce final May 10, 2007
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I say go for it. If it were me I would approach him like a friend and just say I'd sure like to get away from the kids for awhile, want to join me?
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That might work!...I'm such a chickens**t <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Me, 43
DS18, DD12
Divorce final May 10, 2007
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Why not turn those alluring green eyes on him?
Just another guy exploring middle age.
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LOL...now why didn't I think of that??
Me, 43
DS18, DD12
Divorce final May 10, 2007
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Do you mean: Moot adj.
Subject to debate; arguable: a moot question.
Law. Without legal significance, through having been previously decided or settled.
Of no practical importance; irrelevant. or Mute
Expressed without speech; unspoken: a mute appeal.
Law. Refusing to plead when under arraignment.
Linguistics.
Not pronounced; silent, as the e in the word house.
Pronounced with a temporary stoppage of breath, as the sounds (p) and (b); plosive; stopped. ...because if you're asking whether it is a "moot" subject, then I say yes. Wait for him to make the first move, since he's the one that just came out of a relationship. If you're a chicken like you say, then you'll just feel bad if he tells you he's not ready or not interested....
Married 6 years on July 23, 2011--no issues and deeply in love--thanks, MB!
I'm convinced that I'm married to the most wonderful man alive....
I hear and I forget. I see and I believe. I do and I understand. Confucius (B.C. 551-479)
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I think you should throw it out there and say something like, "we should get together for a drink (or dinner) sometime." and see how he reacts--don't forget to pause and give him a chance to process and respond. Have a block party or with Halloween coming up, have a get together at your house later on with some neighbors. Be agressive though and show some initial interest and see what happens. Don't just wait for the guy to make a move first move--could take forever.
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Don't just wait for the guy to make a move first move--could take forever. One could argue that if it DID take forever, the guy wouldn't be worth your time anyways....Who wants a guy that doesn't have the gonads to go after what he wants? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
Married 6 years on July 23, 2011--no issues and deeply in love--thanks, MB!
I'm convinced that I'm married to the most wonderful man alive....
I hear and I forget. I see and I believe. I do and I understand. Confucius (B.C. 551-479)
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One could argue that if it DID take forever, the guy wouldn't be worth your time anyways....Who wants a guy that doesn't have the gonads to go after what he wants? One could also argue the same for a woman going after what she wants. Of course the gonad-inference might need to be re-thought. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> FR
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. Challenges can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks. It’s just a matter of how you look at them. The purpose of life is to live it, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience
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You initiate or him -- it really doesn't make much difference. If you are interested in this man, go for it. There is noting in the world wrong with a woman letting a man know she is interested. In fact, you women nned to do this more often. WE LIKE IT! Don't wait on him, since many men will not consider approaching a neighbor, which leads me to say: I'd caution about becoming involved with a neighbor. There's nothing wrong with this, but if it doesn't work out, there's the proximity issue to deal with.
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One could also argue the same for a woman going after what she wants. Of course the gonad-inference might need to be re-thought. Holy Moses! Chivalry must be dead.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
Married 6 years on July 23, 2011--no issues and deeply in love--thanks, MB!
I'm convinced that I'm married to the most wonderful man alive....
I hear and I forget. I see and I believe. I do and I understand. Confucius (B.C. 551-479)
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Chivalry must be dead.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Yeah... killed by a feminist. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />
~Big Guy
BigGuy1965a118 @ MatchDotCom
Currently a RENTER.
Still working on my TAKER.
Looking for the one who'll hold my hand at 85.
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We USED to be neighbors...not anymore. so the proximity thing isn't an issue.
I know everyone hates rejection but I REALLY HATE IT!! LOL What do I say if he says no??
Me, 43
DS18, DD12
Divorce final May 10, 2007
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I know everyone hates rejection but I REALLY HATE IT!! LOL What do I say if he says no?? ...don't ask him. Think about it--if he hasn't asked you, he's lacking in the gonad department...if he rejects you, you'll feel crappy...it's not worth it....
Married 6 years on July 23, 2011--no issues and deeply in love--thanks, MB!
I'm convinced that I'm married to the most wonderful man alive....
I hear and I forget. I see and I believe. I do and I understand. Confucius (B.C. 551-479)
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...don't ask him.
Think about it--if he hasn't asked you, he's lacking in the gonad department...if he rejects you, you'll feel crappy...it's not worth it.... People end up regretting that which they didn't do, much more than the things that they did. You mean to tell me that you're willing to risk a chance at a happy life just because you don't want to feel crappy for a week? Give me a break... who doesn't have the gonads? What do you say if he says no? You say, "Ok, well I'm glad I know for sure now, rather than sitting around wondering for the rest of my life." You say, "Ok, thanks, have a great day."
Last edited by TheBigGuy; 09/30/05 08:37 AM.
~Big Guy
BigGuy1965a118 @ MatchDotCom
Currently a RENTER.
Still working on my TAKER.
Looking for the one who'll hold my hand at 85.
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What do you say if he says no? You say, "Ok, well I'm glad I know for sure now, rather than sitting around wondering for the rest of my life." You say, "Ok, thanks, have a great day." I can do THIS should I get the nerve to ask him AND should he say no...LOL Thanks for the advice BG <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> How are things going for you btw?
Me, 43
DS18, DD12
Divorce final May 10, 2007
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One could argue that if it DID take forever, the guy wouldn't be worth your time anyways....Who wants a guy that doesn't have the gonads to go after what he wants? One could also argue the same for a woman going after what she wants. Of course the gonad-inference might need to be re-thought. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> FR Yeah. Saying "Who wants a gal that doesn't have the ovaries to go after what she wants?" doesn't have quite the same meaning, does it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
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GreenEyes, I second (or is it third) the idea. Gopher it! At worst he says no, eh?. If he does say no, I'll send ya some of those little chocolates. Then you'll feel better! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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