Hey all. Thank you for your support. I appreciate it, and will coninue to lean on you for a long time.

I was served last evening at work. (I am the sound guy at a church... I asked him to wait till sound check was over.. he was not amused) I was expecting him - so no suprise.

I am changing attorneys - the one I had talked to did not seem enthusiastic. I need an enthusiastic lawyer!!!

I have been praying and considering a lot. I am very positive about my future. I have developed a plan for my life, and am excited about where it is going.

I miss my wife, but the woman in my house now is not her. I do not know if my wife will ever come back, but I do not like the woman that she is now. I am actually looking forward to plan B. I know it will be a logistic h&ll, but I feel like it will be good. It might shake WW hard enough to knock her out of the fog. It might not. She might go the rest of her life thinking that I caused all of her unhappiness, and all of the unhappiness she feels the rest of her life. So be it.

I fight for my kids sake. I fight for my long lost wife. I miss her with the intensity of the sun. But - I realize she may be gone for good. I am ready to move on if that is the case. I will wait for her as long as I can. I will leave that position vacant for as long as possible (I could easily see me never married again...) BUT - I am making my life better. I actually feel relief just knowing that I have a plan to get out of debt. It will take a while.

I hope to one day post here a story like hopeful_person and bOb and Mortar. But it might be a success story of a man moving on with just his kids. And that will be a great success story, too.

On to some details - I have not had time to go over the papers. I am thinking of having the atty do up some papers asking for 50/50. WW will have to work more, but I am thinking of seeking to pay her for childcare - and on my days with the kids leave them with her, and pay her for her time.

Any experience/advice?

Looking forward with excitement.....

FOUND A REASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You will be a success story with an attitude like THIS <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

BE WITH YOUR KIDS

I gotta work - and she is the best choice for childcare. I am not saying give up my days - I am saying hire her to watch the kids for my 8 hours.

Keep 'em coming - i need these comments.

thanks for your encouragement, Pep.

FOUND A REASON!

FAR, you are an amazing man and dad. I hope you WW wakes before it is too late to see that.

First she may still feel trapped in a marriage-like situation if all she is doing is watching the kids and not working. Second even if she takes you up on this, the cost will be alot more that normal child care. You would have to compensate her enough to offset what she would get if she worked and the loss of a possible career. Just something to think about!! Bottomline she has to be on board and this may feel too much like a marriage.

Flynn - some good insight there. I will consider it.

An attorney (the paralegal in the office) says that I will not get 50% custody b/c WW is home with them more. Plus he said I would have to pay child support.

Plus - we have a one year lease we signed in February. I might be able to back out of that one - but I must contact the landlord. He seems a touch irritated with me anyway.

I am gonna keep calling attorneys until I get a good feeling about one.

I am still excited about life!

Just trying to line up ducks. Kinda like herding cats.

FF - thanks for the encouragement.

Perchance some of us are as good as we seem.

far

If that's so... there's nothing you or anyone else can do for her.

As you obviously know, her only problem is her.

I'm pretty sure that many people die, some of them very old, without ever having gotten this.

GC

Been watchin Far. You are doing well. Be ready for anything, both good and bad.

The Lord has this now. I think as long as you follow Him, you will be surprised on how this all turns out.

In His arms.

GC - I hope she comes around - but she is the one who has to make that decision. It will be easier when she gets the space, and freedom, and has me out of her life. (she recently yelled at me "get out of my life!" - I am not sure I can cite another time she has yelled at me in 15 years)
Sooooooooo --- soon plan B will get me out of her life. It will be nice. Difficult, but nice.

Mortar - my rock - thanks for the words of encouragement. I feel like I move too slow, but we all know - gotta pay the bills....

far